My biggest fear when writing these blogs is for it to turn into me preaching at you. Me, an 18 year old girl, who often confuses her own emotions with Gods voice. Yes, He can use me to preach. But if that’s all this blog turns into, it would be a waste of your time. No, it’s much better if this blog is a conversation. But not with me, I’m on the other side of the world. More of a conversation between you and your creator.
So let me start by asking you a question. Ready? If you can’t hear Gods voice, then how in the world can you follow God?
~Wait, before you just keep reading, actually sit for a few minutes meditating on this question. Personally. ~
On January 23, 2020, I couldn’t hear the voice of God. That’s what I told people, that’s what I thought. Yes, I felt “called” to go to Asia, I felt convicted when I lied, I felt led to pray for certain people at certain times. But that wasn’t God, that was my own discernment. Or maybe it was God? No, God’s voice is more distinct. It’s unmistakable. Actually, I don’t know what that sounds like. He’s never really spoken to me… Wait what. I’ve been following Him for years, why hasn’t He spoken to me? Am I doing something wrong? Am I actually not following Him?
These are the thoughts that were running through my mind the whole week of training camp, when I saw the Holy Spirit directly speaking to people left and right. I saw people speaking in tongues and getting physically knocked out by the Holy Spirit’s power. I saw people prophesying and confidently hearing ‘the voice of God.’ ((Let me interrupt to give the skeptics some grace. I was too. I was uncomfortable, consumed in doubt. No, I haven’t personally experienced these things yet, but who are we to say they aren’t valid gifts. Who are we to box God in. The Word of god says multiple times that these things are real.))
Let me back up a little bit. I’m Baptist. And I believe that most of you reading this blog are Baptist too. And I think it’s no secret that Baptists tend to shy away from the Holy Spirit. And it wasn’t until these past 2 months that I realized how terribly heartbreaking it is that I went to church for 18 years and never once was taught about the Holy Spirit.
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Are y’all still with me? Sometimes I say y’all can skim (cuz let’s be honest, sometimes these things are pretty boring) , but this isn’t one of those times, y’all don’t wanna miss this.
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Without the Holy Spirit, God can only live in the Biblical times. Without the Holy Spirit, Jesus is simply a religion, just like all the other religions. Without the Holy Spirit, us, as followers, have no one to guide us.
THAT’S WHAT MAKES JESUS ALIVE
Why are we settling to live without this
Yes, we do still have salvation even if we don’t acknowledge the Spirit. I realize now that my thoughts at training camp, the ones I mentioned before, were not real. 2 Corinthians 5:5 says ‘he has given us the Spirit as a guarantee’.
So no, I’m not saying that my years of following God have been fake. But I am saying that they were not complete. They were not as full as they could’ve been. And if I may say so, I believe a lot of your relationships with Him are also missing this depth.
Ok, I hear you jordan, what do I do about it. First, take it to the Lord. This is a conversation between you and Him, remember?
Second, GET EXCITED. If this blog applies to you, then you just received the missing piece in your walk with God that you’ve been looking for all these years. That depth, that clarity. You got it!!
Third, test it. We don’t just start hearing Gods voice overnight. It takes time, patience, just like a normal relationship would. Ask Him questions, and expect answers. Journal! This one really helped me. Write down the answers to your questions and give yourself grace that some of the answers are from your own mind. It takes time to decipher your own voice from His.
Ok I’ll get off my soapbox now, but I pray that each of you reading this will forgive my sloppy writing skills and harsh tone and that you’ll really talk to God about this topic. It could change your walk with Him forever, I know mine did.
with love, jordan
