Hi everyone welcome to my very first blog! I am so thankful for all of your patience in waiting to hear all the things going on for me on this adventure. I have been racking my brain for awhile now trying to chose the right topic that I could pour my heart into and present to you all. but instead, the Lord has presented himself to me in a really raw way that I feel led to share.
Last night I met with a jealous God.
He brought me to the book of Joel; as I began to make sense of what the scripture was saying you see God fighting against his own people. And I asked these questions; why would God bring destruction upon his people and does he only have destruction in mind? No, In Joel 2:12-14 it tells us more about the character of God in this act:
“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garment.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him, a grain offering and a drink offering for the Lord your God?
Even though God has threatened destruction over his people he then holds out the opportunity of repentance. If they repent, he will restore. We see what it is God is really fighting for: all of our heart and to bring his people to repentance. Such a wonderful yet wrecking thing to realize about God that he will intentionally clog our way and frustrate our day when our hearts wonder.
But it doesn’t stop there he then brought me to 3 other books Hosea 2, Exodus 34, and Ezekiel 16 to show me that this characteristic of jealously in our God is not to be taken lightly and that’s what I want you all to realize. The past couple of weeks I have been STRUGGLING. I had words spoken over me the second week of training camp during worship and this is what was said- that I don’t need to find my validation in my family, friends, or the opposite sex, that my validation comes from God. I honestly didn’t know what to do with those words because I thought I was handling everything right in my life with my identity in those relationship but I prayed over it and prayed for the Lord to show me what I was supposed to do or if anything was to be done at all. Guess what the Lord did… now don’t expect something glorious just yet. The Lord had me a jealous mess! I couldn’t think straight, I sat in envy or comparison constantly when I got on social media or when I was out in public. Which starts to become heart-hardening, drains hope, kills joy, smothers love, fuels anger, and robs the desire to serve others. I would even get to the point where I was sick to my stomach out of jealously. And you should ask why would God put me through that? The God of steadfast love put you through that? Yes, yes he did. Do you remember how I made the point that God will fight against us because of our half-heartedness towards him? Now here’s the glorious part; he gave me these feelings to show me what he feels as a jealous God. He also showed me what it was my heart was wondering into so not only did he give me perspective and insight he gave me a solution. Now we see that steadfast love!
This is my point: the jealously of God for your undivided love and devotion will always have the last say. He responds with wrath against those whose hearts should belong to him but go after other things; like a spouse running after another lover. Harsh, I understand but recognize God is not jealous out of insecurity, weakness or fear I was in that way because he had more to show me. Instead God is jealous like a powerful and merciful king who takes a peasant girl from a life of shame, forgives her, marries her, and gives her not the chores of a slave, but the privileges of a wife. His jealousy rises from a holy indignation at having his honor and power and mercy scorned by the faithlessness of a spouse. So don’t be bitter at God when he clogs your way or frustrates your day because every divine stroke of discipline, every blow against our pride, our self-reliance, and our love for the world is out of His love to better us so turn and let the Lord become to you a gentle shepherd.
