Our first day of ministry in Nepal was at a bhuddist monkey temple. As I walked in, I didn’t feel the heavy weight in my chest that I was warned about and thought I would feel, and I was confused as to why I didn’t. I continued to pray that the Lord would break my heart for this country.
The rest of our ministry in Nepal was different everyday, but still all very similar. We did lots of home visits to fellowship, encourage, and pray with other believers within the community. While it was a blessing, I was still feeling lost and confused about why I was so indifferent and blind as to what was happening within Nepal. It wasn’t until our last day of ministry in Nepal that we went to visit another temple in Gorkha. After about 3 miles of hiking and climbing stairs I became so confused and upset. I felt spiritually weak and physically weak. It was our last day of ministry, and I had no idea why God was pushing my body in this way. I questioned why I had to do what I was doing and fell into a very self centered and selfish way of thinking, frustrated with the Lord.
When we arrived to our destination, it all became so clear. Upon arriving to the top of the mountain where the temple is located, I saw two men carrying dead goats in bags that were covered in blood. Moments after seeing that, I saw two men at the top who help with the animal sacrifices, and where the sacrifices are actually made. Their feet and ankles splattered with blood. The ground was a pool of blood.
In that moment everything clicked, and my heart broke to the point where I felt like I could barely breathe. I was speechless. The weight I felt in my chest was the heaviest it had been all month. This was what my eyes needed to see and what my heart needed to feel to understand why the Lord’s heart breaks for this country. As much as it hurt to physically witness these people making sacrifices only to gain false hope, God knew it was what I needed to see and He was faithful to speak His goodness so clearly over the experience.
He was faithful to answer my prayer even if it did take my whole month in Nepal. After my experience at the temple, I realized the true weight my prayers needed to have. The amount of weight I felt in my chest was the amount of weight I needed to put behind my prayers. It opened my eyes to how far away and lost His children are from Him. Not only was He faithful to answer my prayer, but He revealed so much of Himself through it all. It made me grow an immense amount of gratitude for my Heavenly Father. He chooses us, chases after us, protects us, provides for us, and loves us relentlessly. And that’s exactly what He is doing and will continue to do for His children of Nepal. That’s beauty of it all: He does it simply because we are His beloved children.
To anyone reading this blog, please pray this prayer and more for the country of Nepal:
Nepal, I pray that you would know so deeply in your heart that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for you, and that you would know that you don’t have to earn your way to Him or His love. He has already chosen you! I pray you would know that you are clean, forgiven, and loved because of His blood. I pray that you would receive His love and grace with a heart of thanksgiving knowing that He paid the ultimate price. Abba, I have full faith that you will bring your children home! We love you and we trust Your will will be done here. Amen.
