Tuesday, July 10th, 2018 I packed up my pack and made the drive to Gainesville, GA for The World Race Gap Year training camp. While I could recap the whole camp to you now, I had no idea on the way there what the 10 days would entail. In all honesty pre-training camp Jo was a ball of anxiety. I had no idea what to expect, and I was afraid of the unknown- something I struggle with in everyday life. My first couple of days at t-camp I wrestled with not feeling worthy to be there, and even fell into the good ole trap of comparison. I also struggled a lot with understanding how I even got there. I truly felt like I was in the middle of the ocean with nothing grab onto, and nothing to stand on. Side note and i apologize if this takes you back to any traumatizing moments as a child lol: for anyone who’s been to the beach…you know when a wave hits you, and you think you have time to recover by the time another wave comes, but by the time you think you’ve recovered, another wave takes you down. yeah..that’s how ya girl was feeling the first few days of tcamp. !
T-camp was a lot. It wasn’t a walk in the park. It was overwhelming. It was challenging. It was a stretching process. It was honestly a lot to take in, and things were moving so fast yet so slow, and I truly questioned how the heck I was going to make it through those 10 days because ya know…I felt like I was stuck in the middle of the ocean getting hit wave after wave.
Let’s back up the truck a little bit. In December I took a big jump into deep waters. A big jump in my faith. I decided to go on The World Race Gap Year! While at t-camp, I had the hard realization that I’d just been treading the water I jumped into without fully knowing and understanding the invitation that came along with it. The invitation to share an inimate relationship with Him. The invitation to love Jesus with everything I have. The invitation to surrender anything and everything to Him. The invitation of choosing to let Him lead me instead of me trying to lead myself. The invitation to change my perspective to His.
Training camp opened my heart, my mind, my ears, and my eyes to a whole new perspective. His perspective! I realized that I hadn’t completely let go of my perspective therefore I wasn’t allowing myself to fully see His. And when I let go of my little sliver of perspective that I didn’t realize I was so dearly clinging onto, He showed me that I am exactly where He wants me to be, where I need to be, and where He called me to be. Every fear, every doubt, every thought of comparison, every feeling of unworthiness fled in His name! Training camp gave me a perspective change to see and understand that this mission is for Jesus and Jesus only!. It has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with Him! His love! His grace! His mercy! His peace! His faithfulness! His joy! His hope!
So let’s go back to the feeling of being swallowed by deep waters. It all came down to trusting Him and realizing that He is there and He is moving and that His perspective is the greater perspective! While I was sitting there treading the same waters, He was reaching His arms out to me all along and calling me to embrace Him and see Him in a new light. I jumped head first into the water, but didn’t see that there was so much more- an intimate relationship with Him! By the end of training camp I no longer felt like I was treading the same deep water with nothing to cling onto and nothing to stand on. NOW I feel like I’m swimming with freedom! I know I have something to cling onto..His never ending love! His unfailing faithfulness! His undeniable joy! And I know I have something to stand on..His firm foundation! His Truth! How crazy is it that He chooses us, He loves us, and He never lets go of us even when we are hesitant to hold onto Him!
Also, another crazy cool thing: God has given me 46 brothers and sisters to walk and serve with through this journey!!!!!! I can’t express my gratitude towards them. This squad. Their hearts. Their love. Their kindness. Their gentleness. Their passion for the Lord. Their passion for eachother. It’s truly so beautiful. I love them!!!!!!
THEN God gave me my team- six sisters who I get to walk alongside with each and every day. They push and encourage each other into a deeper relationship with Christ. They speak truth. They share truth. Their hearts and eyes are set on His kingdom and His glory. I love them so much already, and I can’t wait to do life with them! I look forward to sharing a more personal blog with you peeps about these girls. For now, here are a few pictures:
