All my life I have tried to be perfect. I’ve tried to be the perfect daughter and never upset my parents, I’ve tried to be the perfect athlete and never disappoint my teammates or coaches. I’ve tried to be the perfect friend and never upset those that I love, I have tried to be the perfect student and get the best grades. But through all of that striving to be perfect, I have been imperfect most of the time. I upset my parents when I do something wrong, I have been extremely sassy to my friends and upset them for awhile, I have gone through slumps in softball where I didn’t get a hit when I needed to or made an error in a key situation, I have failed tests and gotten bad grades before. We all have, not just me and that is because we are all imperfect people.
God has been teaching me a lot lately about just how imperfect I am and how it is alright to be imperfect. It is a hard lesson to learn because we all want to be perfect and don’t want to mess up. But there is such beauty in the imperfection. Because there in that imperfection, lies our perfect Savior who went to the cross to die the perfect death so we did not have to be perfect. Isaiah 53: 5 says, “But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” Jesus Christ went to the cross and died the perfect death so we could be healed. In our imperfection, Christ is perfect.
I have always been a perfectionist and tried my hardest to be perfect. Especially here lately with my softball career coming to an end quickly and graduation just a few weeks away. I want everything to be perfect because it is my senior year and I will not ever get it back and that scares me. But God keeps teaching me and showing me He isn’t calling me to be perfect because He knows that I can’t be perfect.
I also have had on my heart lately on how real everything is becoming. The real world is just a few weeks away and the game I have known and loved for the past 15 years won’t be my life anymore, I will have stepped off the field for the last time as a student-athlete in a few short weeks. And I keep replaying in my head over and over have I done enough, have I given it my all, have I shown the love of Christ to my teammates, have I done this and that. I have realized though, that is the devil talking. He is trying to discourage me and make me think I am not good enough and that I am so imperfect because I haven’t don’t all of these things and he makes me doubt. But I have finally realized I don’t want to be perfect. I don’t want to know everything and not mess up. Because when we fail, when we mess up, God is right there for us to pick us up and it makes us realize how much we need Jesus because we can’t do anything in this life without Him.
Imperfection is beautiful because there in that imperfection we see just how much we need our perfect Savior, Jesus Christ.
With all my love,
Jordan
