Okay, so here’s a little background on my story of one, how I came to join the World Race. Two, why I believe I am meant to serve and three, why I need YOU to click that “Support Me“ button.
Fair warning family: You may be shocked to read some of the things I write as they are all completely true. It’s also all what has brought me here.
It was the year 2011 and I had decided to “upgrade” my life. I had worked for one year as a waitress at Willamette Lutheran Retirement home in keizer, Oregon during my senior year of high school. Although I grew close to many of the residents there, I felt I needed to stretch my potential a weee bit more. And so I did.
I was soon hired as a full time front desk receptionist for a flashy car dealership. Feeling a tad more sophisticated I repeatedly slipped on my blazer jacket and flats each morning and set off for work. This new position treated me so well that just 7 months later I was asked to assist customers who had purchased a pricey new ride. As flattered as I was, I declined the offer, pursuing an associates degree at Chemeketa. It was hard enough working and going to school full time. To my surprise, my manager had only offered that position to me. In fact, he had sculpted it around not only the needs of the customers but also my person ability. The title was “New Car Delivery Specialist” and it had never existed before my being. Obviously I wanted to take the promotion but felt I was already in a solid place with work and school. So I prayed, sought advice and waited. Two months later my school load had slowed down so I confronted my manager about the previous offer, and accepted my new position. -I was one happy camper!
This went VERY well for me. I was a complete people person at work, succeeding in college and staying active with buddies. My life was definitely “upgrading”, so I thought.
About 3 months into this I was asked to double what I brought to the table. I gladly accepted another offer to be the assistant to our Internet Sales Director. She was a doll! I truly loved my job, but I didn’t always feel loved back. Every job has its highs and lows, and wherever you go in life you simply will not be appreciated by everyone you work with just as you will not appreciate everyone you work with either. Some people just clash. However. This clash went deeper.
Here’s where my upgrade became a downward avalanche.
I spent most of my time in and out of work with the same group of coworkers. About 10 of us had developed a strong connection and shared various details of our lives which made it feel like a true goofy family.
As adults we know we are creatures of habit and if given enough time with one another our habits can influence others. I took on some poor habits. As it started fairly innocent, I kept my awareness high but taking note that I WAS changing. I WAS skipping classes as result of my late nights out. I WAS cutting corners at work to make more time for “fun”. I WAS cursing and judging more frequently. All fairly harmless, right? Wrong.
Fast forward another few months.. I was catching myself failing classes. I was drinking underaged at bars after work. I was participating in crude jokes towards the lonely outsiders and loyal customers. Worst of all I was slowly replacing good quality friendships for these new relationships I’d worked so hard to build around my work.
It’s embarrassing to say, but after 2 years serving that company, 2 years of building trust and commitment, 2 years of laughter and memories- it was all completely meaningless. Sure, I have a better resume, but that’s the thing- those two years ONLY look good on paper. Do you think in my next interview I’m going to say: “I’m very organized without having to use cocaine at work like the others.” Or, “I am very personable with my clients and always make sure to keep my inappropriate comments behind closed doors.” Or “I’m a team player. I try to go out at least twice a week and drink and make reckless decisions with my coworkers so we can build long lasting friendships.” NO WAY.. but those are all true facts. I am ashamed.
After 2 years I put in my two weeks notice. Tired of the clash in values and turning into someone I wasn’t proud to be. They upped my salary and modified a few kinks to keep me around. Again, flattered and driven by the stability and pay, I chose to stay with the company.
3 months later I secretly packed up my desk and quit that very day. I remember calling my bosses together to report my unfortunate news. I had concluded to resign but didn’t leave without shedding a few tears. I have to admit I could have been stronger. This story didn’t have to be written like it is. And I’d be telling a HUGE lie if I said I didn’t enjoy a lot of the times I had while working there. Bars were fun, school was hard. Fitting in is easy, staying true is not. There’s a lot of sins that (if being honest) we would all agree are fun. But as christians we know these things are so hurtfully hollow. For a while I considered “Maybe I’m weak, maybe my personality is too much like putty in their hands.” But then I think- No. That’s completely inaccurate! I left a stable, good paying job because I know who I am and who I am not.
The truth is NOT that these were bad people.
The truth is NOT that the company had poor values.
The truth is NOT that I couldn’t handle that job.
It is simply that some individuals are born to succeed in the car industry and I am NOT one of those individuals. For I am called for something more.
In all honesty, I spent a lot of time gazing out the windows. Hahah, Always dreaming of the thought that there must be more. I knew there was more, so I guess I was simply contemplating if that “more” was ever going to involve me.
I have potential to serve and love God’s infants, children, widows and the disabled. I know what it feels like to feel lost and I know I would have killed to have someone come sweep me off my feet. I do love the place I am in now, and am determined to use my blessings such as my healthy body, intuitive mind and compassionate heart to heal, love and just be with others.
Not everyone can do what I am about to do, but everyone can donate to help keep me on the field. I still need about $12,500. Please, if you are a stranger who was curious enough to browse this girls blog and don’t care to know who I am then that’s okay. All I ask of you then is to donate $20 (That’s about your coffee fund for the week) That $20 will go to support me leading others not only to Christ, but to full belly’s, full smiles, and fulfilled hearts.
Let me know your thoughts on my story of giving up my comfortable 9-5 for a harsh reality.
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