I’m struggling with writing my testimony. There’s this unnecessary pressure to have some moment in your life when you encountered something traumatic and were saved by grace. A hardship that will later inspire everyone.
The timeline usually looks something like this:
1) Struggling, awkward adolescent years
2) Rebellion / Free spirit / Party stage
3) Some trauma: Car accident, loss of parent, addiction, etc.
4) ROCK BOTTOM. Emptiness. Anger. Weight gain.
5) “Memorable moment” when you break, let go and let God.
Then
6) Sweet, sweet salvation.
My testimony usually followed along those lines because I felt pressured to have some intense story that MOVES people. Truth is I felt like my testimony was weak. Sure, I went through hardship, but I could not tell you the moment I fell in love with God. There was no 180 turn around, no visions, no undeniable touch of God. That being said, I could write my testimony in a way that involved my flaws and regrets, but I don’t think that’s how God has grown in me. I did lean on Him during those times, but it would be a tall tale if I centered my relationship around my rock bottom.
My testimony is no Big Fish.
My story is that I was raised in a Christian home by my wickedly awesome parents. My dad told me around 8th grade that I didn’t have to go to church. I was welcome to explore other religions. I was welcome to deny Jesus.
I sat on the fence about God for a LONG time. What’s hard to put into words is how that fence allowed me to observe. I had the best seat in the house and I wasn’t sitting alone.
From hearing stories of the past to being on the sidelines of new ones, I realized He was building me a testimony. I was not left out, I was no less important than those who had seen miracles. I was given my own path to follow, observe and create.
My idea of God has been greatly shaped by my family. The Adams crew is a twisted, colorful, generous bunch of believers. These stories below are all apart of my testimony.
- My grandparents have told me plenty of stories of them in their younger years. Once, a bus load of kids broke down in front of their house, so grandma Jo wound up cooking an entire dinner for everyone while they were stranded and waiting. Spontaneous generosity! And you know she had fun doing it. I’ll bet at least one kid was blown away by the hospitality and the warm meal he may not have had in months.
- In the later years my grandma would be forced to hide money around the house because grandpa Dave was giving it all away! Missionaries, homeless, church offerings, students, Hahah I guess every marriage has it’s problems!
- Growing up my folks were always involved in Younglife. They invested so much time and money into those high school kids over the years. I remember wanting our family to go on some vacation and my mom mentioned we weren’t going to spend the extra money for that. I then blurted out “Well if you didn’t spend so much money on Younglife!..” My mom was just quiet. She gave me humility, not the fight that I wanted.
- In the 6th grade a boy walked up to me and told me I was ugly. I still remember the kid and his friend who agreed with his statement. But I also remember my dad sitting with me in our hallway that night. I cried and cried. He told me a story of when he was in middle school, kids picked on him for being chubby. I remember the empathy I felt for him in that moment. I thought of him feeling the same way I was feeling. I would call that feeling shame. It just felt really, really bad inside. I don’t remember what he said exactly. I do know he sat and shared his story with me.
- When my sister and I were 6 or 7, we were woken up in the middle of our sleep to be told WE WERE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!! I asked if I could take my bean-bag chair. They said yes. 😀
- Christmas dinner with the Adams family is super cool. We have this tradition carried from my great grandparents, Hugh and Evelyn. Instead of turkey and potatoes, we have 3-4 different kinds of soup. There has been several years when we had strangers at our table. Usually it was a neighbor with no family or employee with no where to be. It reminded me not to be selfish about my family time and open to the unexpected. It showed me that some traits like generosity, can be made apart of traditions as well.
The World Race is going to be radical. There will be moments that are spontaneous and generous. Healings will be made through people sharing stories. Arms will be opened to the weak and the poor.
I’ve seen a good marriage. I’ve seen mercy. I’ve seen grace.
I’ve been given a good family. I’ve been loved. & I’ve been forgiven.
These stories reflect the ordinary moments when people were Christ-like. I may not be the center fold of each story but in no way does that weaken the moral and values I learned through simply watching and listening. Eventually, I learned to be thankful and understand the purpose and beauty of sitting on that fence.
My testimony this time goes out to my family for making The Word come to life.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
So Humpty Dumpty observed it all.
