India was a soft landing thanks to Jesus. I felt him reassuring me that I was going to bring joy whenever my feet lead me.
The first two days here we stayed with our entire squad of 50 in a hotel in the city of Hyderbad. We spent this time learning about the Indian culture and had plenty of time for Q&A. The hotel staff welcomed us with fresh cooked meals each day. EVERYTHING WAS SO SPICY. Although here I am, weeks later actually craving some kick in my food.
After those couple days we split up into our teams and left to find our contacts to begin our ministry work. We are staying downstairs at place called Covenant Worship Center. There are about 8 men who have completed the worship program here and have continued to work as a part of the ministry team. They live on the second floor and spend hours in worship. (Sometimes 8-12 a day.)
The first time I witnessed them worshiping my heart melted. I snuck downstairs and tucked myself in the corner and listened. Although I cannot understand there language, (Telugu), I felt comfort knowing their words were praising the same God.
Although ministry has been wonderful here in India, I have to admit I am looking forward to moving on. I’m not sure God has placed India in my future.. Hah
Month one has forced more self control than I ever imagined. I’ve had to confront many of my own demons. Comparison, bitterness and separation from the word.
Thankfully, because I knocked the door was opened to me. I have heard Gods wisdom this month. It’s always there to lead me forward. I’m practicing bringing every burden to Him. Asking him to take the weight off my shoulders, bring me healthy desires and fill me up in places I feel empty. The other day I let my mind reminisce about what brought me happiness back home. As I was journaling my ugly thoughts I heard him say “Believe that I can make you feel that way.”
And so I realized the problem was not with temptation but with lack of faith.
Another time I was struggling with some of my teammates. I went for a jog and stopped near a park and had a good cry.
Intimacy with the Lord is a beautiful thing. I swear I was being held in His arms. In turn, this image of Him holding me lead to more weeping. How can you feel so loved and so alone?
After a long time in prayer, I was at peace with the idea that I was not created to be a problem maker but a problem solver. I felt peace with this new mindset and headed back to the house. As God and I had this conversation, I felt the need to be more humble. Act more generously. “Die to yourself.” The more I put others first the more happy I will be.
….That was a tough one to swallow.
But, if it comes from God… It has to bring fruit.
Rounding the corner from my destination I heard him asking me to have faith that He will turn their hearts around. Trust that there is work being done behind the scenes, from Him to them. Wisdom that could not come from me and was out of my control. Timing was completely in His hands. …So have faith Jordan. Have faith.
A song I’ve been jogging to is by Oh Honey, called “Don’t you worry, love” and the lyrics go:
When the world gets dark,
Don’t you worry, love.
And the demons, let ’em starve,
Don’t you worry, love.
When the air gets colder,
Don’t let ya heart turn to stone.
Let the weight fall off your shoulders.
And know in the end, you’ll find your way home.
Light will always find its way in,
Into the cracks of the night.
Open your eyes, love.
“Though sorrow may last for the night, Joy comes in the morning” Psalms 30:5
