“What do you know for sure? You’ll find that there won’t be many things.”
The gray-blue eyes of my voice teacher sparkled kindly, as they often do. A day has passed since her question, but it has weighed on my mind. I have not been able to think of much, but of the things that I know for sure, here are a few:
1. I know that God loves me and that He is good. I know this not only because He died for me, but because of the way that He made me. God did not have to make me with music in my veins and a heart that delights in the rain, or with feet that long to dance (although I restrain them in public). He didn’t have to give me the mind of an artist so that the beauty of a sunset can take my breath away, but He did anyways. Had He not loved me, He would not have designed my heart to revel in His creation.
2. I know that I want to love people as much as possible, and it is only by God’s grace that I have this desire. Matthew 24:13-14 says, “And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” I believe that part of the reason that the love of many will grow cold as the end draws near is because of the pain that is caused by people’s sin. It is unspeakably, almost unbearably, painful to be betrayed by someone that you love. Because of this, it is almost easier to not love at all.
However, through the suffering in my own life, God has changed my perspective. Firstly, He has endured more hurt than I could ever imagine, and yet He continues to love. Even though I have betrayed Him, even though I make mistakes daily, and even though I have misrepresented the name of the One who has called me out of darkness, my Savior actively chooses to show me love. Secondly, this isn’t about me. God loves those who have hurt me and He wants me to forgive them. Who am I to tell the God of the universe “no”? (Not to say that forgiving is easy or that it’s a one-time deal…but that’s another topic entirely.)
3. I know that, thus far, God has opened door after door for me to go on this mission trip. There are so many sweet, godly people who have donated and/or offered to pray for me. If you are one of these people, thank you so much. I am now halfway to my financial goal and I am confident that God will continue to provide.
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This is probably a completely random first blog post, but I believe that knowing these three things will be essential for this mission trip. Although I’m more than thrilled about this adventure, I will probably see suffering beyond anything that I have seen before, and being confident in God’s love, goodness, and desire for me to go on this trip will keep me grounded.
