Support Update: I am still in need of about $4,000 before October 1st in order to continue on to the Philippines for our next month of ministry. If you can help in any way, please click "support me" at the top of the page. Remember, no gift is too small! Thank you everyone who is praying for me and my team!! Keep 'em comin!
People have been asking me "What have you been learning while on this trip?" So I've started writing these down to share with you. I shared one yesterday, and so here's lesson #2 I didn't think I needed to learn while on the race…
Lesson #2: I NEED THE LORD...whether I like it or not! Hm…imagine that! Seems like such an elementary level lesson for someone who's been a Christian for 16 years. Ha, well the Lord humbled me real quick on that one. I wrote about this a little bit when I was in Guatemala, but I feel like I have an even greater understanding now.
On this trip, I am surrounded by teammates who came to Christ in college, as opposed to when they were 6 like I was. I've noticed a profound difference in my friends who have turned to Christ in their adult years and those of us who have had years to grow accustomed and almost numb to the fact that having a relationship with Christ is a big deal. For me, God has always been apart of the picture. He's never not been apart of my life.
In life we have a myriad of options laid out before us from which we can pick and choose where we will find our happiness and contentment– Friends, family, school, work, approval, addictions– the options are as diverse as there are people in the world.
For the pastor's kid like me who's been in church since birth, “God” is one of the options laid out on that table. For most of my life I thought that simply knowing God was there as an option was good enough. Little did I realize that I was trying to get by with choosing God and this or God and that….
Then when I ended up never fully satisfied, did I blame this and that? No. I got mad at God for not being enough for me and went as far to say, “Well maybe this whole Christianity thing is a joke, because I am never fully satisfied and I don't have to joy that we advertise as Christians.”
While on this trip however, I have realized that the reason I've walked through most of my Christian life feeling a certain level of dissatisfaction is because I have never truly come to a point of realizing and admitting my NEED for the Lord.
Yes, I realize I need Him to save me from hell…But it goes beyond that. I need Him on a moment to moment basis in order to find the daily satisfaction and contentment my soul craves. There has to be a moment as an adult when I literally CHOOSE to rely on God.
The difference between me and my friends who became Christians in their adult lives is this: the Lord was never chosen for them as often times He seems to be chosen for those of us who grow up in the church.
In all of their testimonies, there was a profound moment when they hit their knees and realized their NEED for the Lord, and completely threw out all the other options. They CHOSE the Lord.
There can be none of this “God and….” stuff. God cannot fill the holes in my life if I am constantly picking up something else from that table of options.
And if I find myself dissatisfied in any way, it is not because He is not enough for me, it is simply because I've tried to jam something else in His place. (Again, this sounds like such an elementary lesson. Seriously isn't this youth group sermon analogy number one?? And yet it took me until I was 22 before I actually get it!).
So guess what folks… I need the Lord!! Surprise, surprise.
So since having this amazing revelation I have enjoyed walking with the Lord more intimately than ever before. There is a profound sense of peace that overtakes you when you stop striving to find satisfaction in other things, and just simply rest in the fact that He takes care of EVERYTHING. (That's a whole other blog post in itself for another day…).
I'm just laughing at the fact that here I was, going out as a missionary with every intention to share the gospel with others, and desiring to learn and understand the deep things of God.
And yet within the first three months the Lord humbles me like never before in order to show me I needed a lesson in “Being a Christian 101.” Ha. The Lord's humor…
Anyway. Thanks everyone for joining me on this journey. I appreciate you all so much! Your love and encouragement truly blow me away.
jg
