I wish I had map!
I wish I had a map in my mind so I could organize my thoughts right now because they no longer connect. It is hard constructing a blog because there are so many thoughts and images crowding my mind. There are too many topics and stories that I want to share. Too many people and places that have stolen my heart. In a effort to inform you of just some of the things I will start with words.
Love …seems like such a small word to describe what I encounter when I look at the people I am surrounded by.
Passion ..does not encompass the desires and fire I see within my fellow squad mates and the contacts we have met.
Home…scares me more then I want to admit. I no longer consider home one place but a collection of places and people.( over the past year my squad has been my home)
Goodbyes…have not gotten easier as the race has gone on, only more plentiful.
Relationship status… has remained the same. I have no new boyfriend or fiancé but I am seeing God woo and romance me more and more.
Teaching.. These past two months I have been teaching English. I see new reasons everyday why I decided to major in teaching, and teaching ESL. These students exhibit such bright futures, and I am honored to help them just for a moment to get there.
Reliance and Complete dependency.. This month is extremely busy. We have early mornings and late nights with little rest in between. We have classes to teach, school visitations to prepare for ,church programs to run, and “field trips” to go on ( which consist of service projects and fun). I can honestly say this is my favorite month, but with the business of everything it is very easy to become stressed and exhausted. The only way we all make it through is to have complete dependence on God to give us the rest and energy we need each day. We pray throughout the day for that energy and He provides us with it. It is a really cool thing to watch.
Another thing I need to have complete reliance on God for is funding. I am going to be honest about this. I hate talking about it! I hate asking people for money! I am at the point where am even annoying myself. Right now I am one of only about 4 people who is not fully funded for the race. We are told that we need to make a daily effort to support raise to get the funds. They want us to document everything we are doing in order to raise support. I need about $3,930 more. This is what I am doing… I am asking God for the money. I am praying and asking others to pray, but I am sick of asking people for money. If all the money in the world belongs to God and He has already sent me on The Race not once but twice, what is stopping Him from keeping me here? If He wants me to go home for some reason the funds won’t come in. Maybe it is his plan for me to just reflect on the hundreds of lessons I have already learned this year. But maybe, just maybe, the best is yet to come in Africa. Maybe He just wants to keep me on my toes right now and deepen my faith and dependence on Him. Maybe He just wants to show off a little and do yet another miracle in my life. Whatever it is I am excited to find out! I am a very lucky girl!
