If I was still on The Race…
I would be finishing a journey instead of beginning one.
I would be working with and loving on babies and preschoolers instead of elementary-college age kids.
I would be kissing multiple babies instead of my best friends baby and my niece.
I would be eating rice for every meal instead of pizza.
I would be swimming in the ocean instead of taking a bubble bath.
I would be cage diving or sky diving rather then seeing my best friends baby get baptized, and my girls graduate from elementary and middle school.
I would be enjoying the presence of one group of friends while missing the other instead of……no wait, I am doing the same thing here.
I would be sharing my testimony in church services instead of living it out as I race and chase a five year old around the park and tell him how much of a good boy he is.
I would be crying in anticipation of the goodbyes instead of rejoicing over the hellos I have encountered.
But more then anything I would be the same.
Despite the location of where God has me placed I am still the same person, the same body, with the same blood running through it. Sometimes I still desire to be with my squad in Africa but then I realize the things that I would have missed out on here.
Before leaving The Race when I still was in denial about the whole thing I told my teammates this. ..
“There is nothing that God needs me to do in America that can’t wait two months.”
They were able to call my bluff from the start. But, because of my stubbornness my agenda was the only things in my view. So I will call my own bluff now. That was an absolute lie.
I am still not saying that coming home was the only right decision and plan . I know that if I did end up going to Africa God would have used me in some incredible ways there. But I am saying that my vision is no longer clouded by distrust and resentment. I can see the ways He is using me here. I can see the people He is placing in my path to love this very second. He always knows what He is doing we just have to trust Him enough to let Him take the reigns. And believe me, I know how hard that can be sometimes.
