How the heck could anyone love being homesick? I’m crazy I know but hear me out. I’ve had so many homesick days since being gone and they have beat me down to tears and isolation.Fortunately, entering into month three, something in me has shifted.
Besides the beauty of this country and the orphanage we are working at, choosing to be present where my Father has my feet is helping.
India and Nepal were difficult and full of many adjustments. I’d say my team and I are out of the “honeymoon phase” of the World Race and on to the real deal. Real feedback, real budgeting, real navigating through a city with every language barrier possible.
Sometimes my heart and my mind get all out of wack and I find myself not being fully present in my day. I’m so quick to judge a situation or a person based on my standards or past experiences.
I like my comforts and I like my freedoms so learning how to die to myself is a lot harder then I anticipated. So I end up in a spiral of thoughts about how I’m a terrible person for finding it hard to die to myself daily.
Growing closer to Papa has a whole lot less to do with any action we might take and a whole lot more with positioning our hearts toward His.
Positioning my heart this month looks like:
-memorizing scripture weekly
-doing weekly listening pr1ayer
-fasting sweets
Yes, fasting sweets! I’m on day three and it hasn’t been too bad so fingers crossed it stays that way. Papa convicted me last week that I’m running to chocolate for comfort. Ouch! But it’s true, Nepal was full of comforts cause it was available and I was homesick.
Missing friends, family, and feelings. I run to known feelings when unknown feelings surround me, which clogs the hole for the HS to fill my heart. So no more of that. I need Papa more than I need chocolate. Amen!
Although I’ve suffered through being homesick and I’m sure I’ll have many more days to come. When I feel worried about my family’s safety, or the unknown of my future, the intimacy that grows when I wholeheartedly take it to my Father has really changed my walk.
I’m teaching myself to stop and pr1ay and allow my strength to be transformed into His strength. I want to be good at communicating with my intentions, attitude and even my body language that i am willing to deny myself of chocolate cravings, social media, and my time so that I can be closer to Papa..
Paul’s says it best: “live by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” -Galatians 5:16
I am hungry for truth and dying of thirst for the Living Water. I can’t do ANYTHING on my own, even all my past accomplishments and heartbreaks I got through because of my Father..
That’s a mindset that can only be changed through the renewing of my mind and practicing thankfulness. I pr1ay for wisdom to make wise decisions and insight to remember your word to get me through my days.
Please feel free to join me in memorizing this weeks verse:
Jeremiah 23:29
“Father’s word is like a consuming fire. You will not prosper if you don’t let his word lumminate like fire in your soul.”
