I apologize for
the corniness of this entry, but I am going to write it anyways because I
honestly felt this during our ministry. Our contact wanted to plant a little
garden outside of his classroom, so we went to the nursery and picked out a
tree, a few plants, and some vegetable seeds.
As we began
planting the seeds, I started thinking about our ministry. I often wonder what
good we can really do in only one month. To be honest, I often leave each
country feeling frustrated because I felt like we had just begun making a
difference and then we leave. I mean I am grateful for this opportunity to
serve but we go from one place to the next experiencing such heartache and then
leave knowing the pain we left behind. What good am I really doing? I feel like
we come with false expectations of hope and then we leave and watch the hope
escape from their hearts.
We served an orphanage
in the Philippines and I connected with a little boy: Beloy. Every time I would
visit he would run and give me a big hug. He would sit on my lap during worship
and we would play the entire day. When I wasn’t able to go one night, my team
members told me that he was asking about me. I felt crushed at the thought that
I let him down and couldn’t wait to get back to see him the next time. So, when
I showed up again he raced over and gave me an even bigger hug as if he was
saying, “I thought I would never see you again. I am glad that you are back”.
However, little did he know that was the last night that we were going to be
able to spend time with the kids before we left to our next country. I remember
trying to find him when we were leaving but he literally hid himself from me. I
felt like he thought someone else was abandoning him again in his life. I felt
absolutely terrible. He finally came out to say good-bye and looked somewhat
like his normally jubilant self but still I felt like I was just someone else
that was abandoning this child and I felt horrible.
A friend
offered me a story, reminding me that we are spreading God’s kingdom and not
our own kingdoms. If we are willing and obedient to follow the Lord’s will for
our life, then He will use that to advance His kingdom even when we cannot see
it. My friend told me about a time when a world racer visited a country and
developed a relationship with a local person. At the end of the month, the
racer had to leave this relationship behind as he traveled to the next country,
much like my scenario with Beloy. Two years later, another world race team
visited this same location and met that exact same person and low and behold
another relationship developed between this person and the racer. However, this
time the native developed a deeper sense of trust sooner in the relationship
and the racer was able to introduce this person to the Lord before he had to
leave for his next country.
This is an
example of a seed that was planted two years ago that began to blossom. I just
hope that my relationship with Beloy will help him blossom into a deeper
relationship with the Lord.
