I’ve been struggling to process my experiences in Cambodia, probably because there have been so many, and so many different types of them. So, let’s start at the beginning and wander a long, long path to the end.
Teen Challenge is located in Takeo Province, Cambodia, which is about an hour south of Phnom Penh. Their ministry is helping boys and adult men with a variety of addictions -drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc- by rehabilitating them. The majority of the time, the kids agree to this based on some sort of parental intervention, but their eagerness to go is often replaced with the desire to run away.
Kids running away is a big problem. When we returned from Phnom Penh (we had a couple days of R&R), our stuff had been rifled through in an effort to find valuables to trade for their passage back to Phnom Penh. Luckily, we had been warned of the probability of this occurring and took most of our stuff with us.
Upon entering the room and seeing the clothes strewn about, every item in my pack scattered on the floor of my tent (tent is pitched for the mosquito covering), I was only annoyed because they had left my tent unzipped, allowing mosquitoes to get in. We found a hat that we recognized, presumably from one of the kids in their haste to escape. When I returned it, there was evident fear in his eyes at being caught, but I just rubbed his head and hugged him for a brief moment.
We learned later that the kids -kids we had started building a relationship with- were found in a storm drain. They had planned to stay there until darkness would cover their escape. One thing we learned about this particular storm drain is that due to the heat, humidity, and the dwindling oxygen, the kids probably would have been dead by nightfall.
"Escape" may seem like the wrong word, but truthfully it isn't. Periodically during the day, and always at night, the kids and some of the adults are locked in a building. At first it seemed cruel to be kee them in there, but I suppose it was only to remove the opportunity to leave a situation that is meant to help them, and that they signed up for voluntarily.
People change their minds, though. One teenager -16, I believe- had escaped and we ran into him randomly in Phnom Penh. We bought him dinner and he expressed he wanted to return to Teen Challenge. We set it up for him.
I could talk a lot about the conditions being hard, but it hasn’t been as bad as my words would color it. It’s hot, so what. We don’t have excessive amounts of water, so what. We only have a couple fans, so what, at least we have that. Our food has been amazing. Our ministry is more about relationships than anything else.
It’s split up into two relatively brief sessions. We have bible study that the guys lead, and English which the girls lead. That’s it. That is the only opportunity we have to have focused pouring into the kids. Hopefully, we’ve utilized our time wisely. We’ve spent the majority of Bible study sharing the stories we loved as children, and gradually hitting harder stuff that really resonates with the men and boys. Our own testimonies have parallels with their own, despite the setting being radically different.
Volleyball has been our opportunity for fun with the kids. I honestly like playing volleyball more than any other sport. That’s probably surprising, as I doubt any of you have ever seen me play. I imagine that’s because I didn’t live near a beach, and Creekside’s volleyball court was often filled with one-too-many shirtless guys having a testosterone contest. But in Cambodia, it works for me. It’s nice being one of the tallest (I can’t spike well), and being able to really be active when most of the time people (Cambodians included) are hiding in the shade.
Sam, who hopefully I’ll interview today, is an amazing man. If I don’t get the opportunity, I’ll expound upon him more at a later date, but suffice it to say he has an incredible heart.
Our R&R in Phnom Penh was actually really needed. We lost one team member, another went home for treatment for migraines (she’s returning), ministry didn’t really start until the second week, and our squad leaders were here. It was a short month. We met with some women who work at Daughters of Cambodia, women who train and create jobs for victims of the sex trafficking industry of Cambodia.
I went for a massage in Phnom Penh (warily) and found a simple massage parlor and spent a couple minutes talking to the people outside. There was a lot of giggling going on, but in comparison to the more seedier places, it seemed fine. As I was about to walk in, the masseuse said to me, “You know no ‘boom boom,’ right?” “Right,” I said, “only massage.” “Yes, yes… only massage. Many white people only want ‘boom boom,’ good you not want this.” With that I got an hour massage (clothed) and my masseuse as well as three other women practiced their English with me. Terrible massage; good experience.
One thing that I wanted to do since I stepped foot in Cambodia was go to Battambang, where my Dad goes each year with his North Point missions team. I was bummed that logistically, it wasn’t going to work out. Battambang is roughly six to eight hours from Takeo, and financially and time wise it just wasn’t possible. What was possible, however, was meeting up with Alex Themelis.
Alex is a man with an incredible heart. He’s met my Dad and his mission team, and has been in Cambodia for two years. His heart is so evident in everything that he does. He offered to show me around Phnom Penh on one of our days off (Saturday) and take us to Tuol Sleng (S21 – Khmer Rouge/Pol Pot concentration camp) as well as New Life’s orphanage outside of Phnom Penh. While it wasn’t the Battambang orphanage, it would still be good to see. We were going to Skype my Dad so he could see me surrounded by the kids.
When we met Alex in the morning, Brandon and I received a shock. There was Kea, Vanna, Kim Leng and Vibol, kids that I knew from the Battambang orphanage, and that my Dad had built incredible relationships with. Kim Leng and Vibol are sponsored by my Dad. Also, Pastor Vic (head of New Life Missions) and his wife, Ratha and his wife Phearum (critical players at the Battambang orphanage) were there. They had been brought all the way from Battambang as a surprise for me and my Dad. It was an incredible experience, and only possible by some great planning by Alex. He wasn't satisfied with failure, and wanted me to come to Cambodia and see people that I really wanted to meet.
Switching gears, I wanted to talk a little more about Cambodia’s sex trade. Sex is so ingrained in Cambodian culture, and I really don’t want to reiterate it, except to share an incredible talk I had with a local. At the gas station (I was on a junk food hunt) I ran into a Cambodian who spoke great English and was offering drugs, sex, massage, and I straight up asked him, “Why are Cambodians so casual with sex?” The conversation that follows is the best that I could remember it, the man never offered his name.
“Phnom Penh is different from anywhere else. It doesn’t change you always, but it lets you change yourself if you want. You can be normal or crazy. You can try things you wonder about and no one cares or tells you it’s wrong.”
I could understand the appeal, if we’re being honest. To do whatever you want and it be socially acceptable. I said nothing, though, so he continued.
“This city is shocking only because people want to convince themselves they’re being shocked. It’s normal to us, and to people who have been here awhile. Elsewhere, you go drink or something, here you buy drugs or go to a brothel.”
“So, I take it you do it, too?” I said.
He laughed. “I don’t do drugs, they hurt me, but I like women and brothels. I think maybe 190 ‘Night Women’ in Phnom Penh.”
I must have looked shocked at his number, but I realized I was doing what he said, and convincing myself I was being shocked.
“Here, it’s just math. You have $5 so what do you do? New book or pants? It’s possible, but when $5 can be beautiful woman, it does not take long to understand you can wash your pants or borrow a book from the library.”
Afterward, he went on a tangent about how to him it was romantic. He treated every girl as a unique experience and it becomes more interesting instead of just one night stands. He made some comment about how it wouldn’t make sense until you tried it, to which I flippantly responded with, “have you tried Jesus?” He laughed and said, “heard about that one before, and I’m still not buying. Since you’re not buying either, I’ll see you around.” Then he was gone.
I didn’t, and still don’t really know how I felt about the conversation. It’s rooted so deeply in the culture that it seems by sheer force alone you can’t rip them out of the ground. It’s only from constant effort can these roots be upheaved.
For truly heart gripping blogs on Cambodia, I’ve linked two blogs from Heather Hartz, a squad member. The first is on Cambodian child poverty, and the second (more intense) is on the sex industry. I would strongly encourage you to read both, they add a perspective that would be difficult to recreate after reading her words. Plus, the ENGL/JRNL student tells me to say that the writing is also superb.
But Break, My Heart / For I Must Hold My Tongue (I love poetry)
Today is our last day in Takeo, then on the 1st we leave for Vietnam. It has been an incredible experience, and my hope is that for at least one, we’ll have a lasting impression.
