There’s a giant question mark looming over my life currently. I’ll be honest, it’s been completely stressing me out. Just under 7 weeks until I arrive back on U.S. soil and I have absolutely zero idea what I will do when I get there. Of course, I’ll joyfully reunite with family and friends. I’ll rest. I’ll recover. I’ll drink a Moxie Java mocha au lait. I’ll enjoy me some steak and a sweet potato – loaded – at Texas Roadhouse. I’ll even venture over to the Tutti Frutti that’s new to Fargo since I left. I’ll relish sleeping in my cloud-like bed again. I’ll drink a cup of ginger peach tea on the blue couch. I’ll discover clothes I forgot I had….ok, I’ll stop dreaming and get back to the point.
I don’t know what the future holds. I’ve been trying pretty hard the past couple of weeks to figure it out and it’s just not working. As hard as I try I can’t seem to get God to show me. I’ve got several different ideas rolling around in my head. I can make a decent case for why any of them should be my next life step and why maybe they shouldn’t be. The bottom line is none of them stick, none of them bring me any peace at this point. Whenever I start thinking about it I just get anxious.
This morning I was sitting in an international church service in Bucharest and God reminded me of something. I love it when He does this. He rescues me….He’s really good at it….and He knows I need it!
He reminded me of Kenya, month 6. We’d reached the halfway point of our Race and there was a serious buzz on ouR squad regarding people’s post-Race plans. In that season He’d given me a peace….He hadn’t said anything too specific….it was just a feeling….a peace….a stillness….I was pretty confident that I wouldn’t know what my next step was until I got home. He was asking me to trust Him. And He gave me peace in that place.
Somewhere along the way I forgot. I got caught up in other people knowing specifically what they’re called to after the Race. I got caught up in my own desire as a planner to know what comes next well in advance. Especially when it comes to something this big. I got caught up in my own dreams; wondering how it will all play out?
Along with reminding me this morning of the peace…the stillness….His presence… He also reminded me of His track record in my life (and throughout the course of history.) He’s guided me so clearly. He reminded me of how He led me to the Race last May and how’s that’s turned out. How thankful I am that He speaks and moves in His perfect timing and not a moment before. Why don’t I trust Him?
And so I wait….in peace….in stillness….at rest.
