I was told coming into the World Race that living in close community with my team and squad would be one of the most shaping and refining parts of the experience. I could hear those words and believe them, but it’s only been lately that I’ve began to really recognize it, embrace it, and value it for what it is in my life. There are times where close community drives me absolutely crazy – I just want alone time. But here at the halfway point of our Race I’m realizing a deep, deep love growing in my heart for the people I’m with, and for the closeness we share; a love I never would have imagined possible. I’m okay now with sharing a twin bed. I’m okay with not having my own space. I’m okay with all of our stuff intermingled in our room. (I love the way that God never gives us more than we can handle…He stretches us and stretches us…but He knows our limits and weaknesses and is so gracious!)
I came into the Race with many barriers up in my life. One way I protect myself from getting hurt is by holding people at a distance until I’ve known them long enough to trust them, or they’ve proven themselves to be trustworthy. As the Race goes on I am realizing how this keeps me from experiencing all that God has for me. It’s not the way to live the abundant life God has for me.
In all honesty, my experience with God on the Race has been very different than I expected. I don’t hear His voice or experience His presence the way I am used to. At times this has been very hard for me. I was asking Him about it today. I was praying, “God, it’s Valentine’s Day. Please speak to me. Give me eyes to see the ways you are speaking because I know you are.” He began to reveal to me how He has put these people in my life for this season and He is often speaking to me through them. Whether it’s an encouraging word, a constructive word, a loving touch, a sweet note, laughter….God is using His people to speak, to love me, to strengthen me and grow me.
This is a huge revelation for me. I’ve been living with far too much of a lone ranger mentality. I think of how Scripture gives examples of the believers living in community and tells us to love our brothers and sisters in Christ. I’ve read those things, agreed with them, preached them, but my life has told a different story. As I’ve entered more and more into the experience of community I’m reaping the rich rewards! I’ve been so blessed! Even conflict, when resolved with truth, grace, and love, results in deepening of relationships!
It’s funny what God uses to reveals things. Saturday night Pastor’s wife, Ruth, came up to me with a note and said, “I have something for you. I’m just an agent.” I opened the note. It was from a Kenyan man (including a picture) professing his feelings for me after seeing me in church last week. He also asked me to attend a couples’ Valentine’s meeting at the church with him the next day. I was freaking out a bit (ok, maybe more than a bit.) This was not okay with me. I didn’t want to deal with it. Team United helped me process some stuff that surfaced through receiving this note.
The next evening we gathered up for some time together as a team. One of the girls told me they had to tell me something. It was all a prank! A couple of the girls had found the picture by the side of the road on a walk, and Clint wrote the love note. At first I was a little upset. This was my emotions they were playing with, but as the moments went on I began to realize that they did it because they love me. They’ve welcomed me into their community, and God’s using them to continue to break those barriers down. (And they’re not the only ones…so so thankful for the things I’m learning through leading with Michael, for my Agape family, and all of the amazing R squad!!)
Thanking God for the blessings of community this Valentine’s day, and a new revelation of the way He uses His people to speak into my life!
