When I was a kid, I was fascinated by space and I loved the thought of black holes. I learned that time slows near a black hole, and inside a black hole, time stops altogether. Whether or not that theory will ever be proved, I am moved to believe there are many places on earth that act in this way.
Many places I find downright lovely.
Other times I find myself in the throwaway detritus of the textured, too-familiar surfaces of our lives. Airless small apartments or back alleys, booths in fast food restaurants, the vague but overpowering structure of suburban life with its thinly-veiled hierarchies… all the huge, weary, jubilant imperfections of our wonderful lives and conversations.
Other times I find myself engulfed within the unfamiliar. As if the place itself refuses to be a part of the status quo called reality. Example:
Target. Think about it. How is everything all so clean? Where does that smell come from?
Any seafood restaurant that sells food at market price. What kind of market are they shopping at?
Places so set apart, we forget the mundane and begin to reflect. To take time to remember every second of every minute. To be reminded of every moment encapsulated within it. Time slows, and sometimes it seems to stop altogether.
Every moment spent on the world race, from training camp to my first time realizing that toilet paper isn’t universal, has felt this way. Reflection becomes a regular menu item when in a setting such as this. When the mindless comforts we take for granted disappear, our lives become much like jigsaw puzzles without the corner pieces. Things just don’t add up.
Last night I spent far too long desperately attempting to buy a loaf of bread through a ballistic grade language barrier. In this moment I was forced to reflect on how it is that I got here and where I am going. Eventually, after 30 minutes of explaining that I have no idea what anything in Khmer means and a godsend encounter with a native English speaker, I got my bread. I came to a comforting conclusion. This is just the beginning and I have a lot to learn about the world before I will be saving anyone, but, for the first time in the large part of a long while, I feel ready.
