Last week I FaceTimed my sister and her husband Sam. After lots of jokes about Dad and discussions about food, Sam asked, “So how are you different?” The answer to this question begins with a devotional I gave to the squad on how God has been teaching me about servitude.
Back in June, before I had left for the World Race, I heard a sermon on ways we relate to God. I was disturbed to realize that my list of ways in which I understand my creator was very short. Essentially, God was my comforter. I liked to know I was loved, who doesn’t right? But I think I stayed in that moment a little too long, lingering too much on myself and how my God made me feel. I trivialized my God as I only looked to Him for ways to ease my troubles. There is no doubt that God is a comforter, 2 Corinthians 1:4 is clear in saying, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.” I loved the first part of the verse that is about me. It’s the part that’s about others that I seemed to forget. This conviction had been happening slowly, but I finally realized after being raised in the church my entire life that Jesus is more than a feeling; that the love of Jesus is active and requires putting myself second. Jesus’ love is selfless, but if I’m living for myself, then I am not being selfless, but rather selfish and thus walking in direct opposition to my faith. Big oops. This awareness began a process of reconciling my lifestyle to my beliefs: first with identity and purpose and then with servitude and stewardship. Over the course of several months, it became clear to me that my life was never meant to be just about me. I am meant to serve others and in doing so, relate to God as Master.
Contrary to my fears of dissatisfaction, I have experienced immense contentment from acknowledging that my life is not just about me. My identity is a servant and my purpose therein is to serve. It seems simple enough, but I somehow always end up having to remind myself that I have to serve others, not myself. In John 1:23 when the temple assistants ask John the Baptist if he is the messiah, he responds with a prophesy from Isaiah that explains his purpose: ”I am a voice shouting in the wilderness, ‘clear the way for the Lords coming’.” John said he is a voice and his purpose was to make way for Jesus. Again in 1 Peter 2:9 I see the connection between identity and purpose “…for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God.” Our title of royal priests is given to us so that we can model Jesus to others. We have a position and purpose and they are inextricably connected. This was super relieving for me because it clarified that my identity and purpose are unwavering. This has been my cure to my seemingly endless existential crisis. Regardless of my position or placement, I know my job: Matthew 22:37-40 “you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Several verses stood out to me as I read over what it means to be a servant. Mark 10:45 “for even the son of man came not to be served, but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” This passage ruins any chance I have of living with entitlement, though I found myself doing just that. Jesus took it even further in Luke 17:7-10 “… in the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘we are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty’.” This was initially shocking, but is actually so great for me because it reinforces that life is not about me and says I am free from the tyranny of my emotions as my duty to fulfill my purpose takes precedence. Whatever I do, I do for God’s glory, which will stand forever, rather than the for my very temperamental self, which is never satisfied for long. The passage in Luke 17:7 hit me hard. I had this twisted perspective of believing that serving god entitled me to miracles and put God in my debt. OOPS. I had to ask for forgiveness for a lot prayers I have said over the years and learned a lot of humility. After processing through what Jesus taught here, I realized the cost of pride and entitlement. They had been costing me the actualization of my purpose and caused me to live in contradiction to my beliefs. If I claim I am a Christian, but I do not serve others, then I am already at odds within myself. 1 Corinthians has banger after banger that clearly resolves who I am to serve. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 “you say I’m allowed to do anything, but not everything is good for you. You say I’m allowed to anything but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:33 “I too try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.”
The realization about my identity and purpose was a beautiful gift, as was the message on servitude, but I remember amidst my confidence in these lessons, there was also frustration. I did not know where to go from there. I felt like I was missing tools necessary to do my job. Conveniently, this is addressed in 1 Corinthians 12:7, “a spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.” I haven’t been missing any tools, just submission. This passage is so fascinating to me because it says the purpose of God blessing us with gifts is to benefit others. This just continues to show me how God created man to be connected, united and encouraging in its communities. Then, in romans 11:29, we are told “Gods gifts and his call can never be withdrawn,” while in the next chapter, Romans 12:6 says that “in his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” Romans 12 is the same passage explaining the necessity of all of the different parts of the body.
As God gifts us so that we can bless others, we become stewards of those gifts. I love Matthew 25:14 and the parable of the three servants who stewarded different sums of money while their master was away. I imagine the servants feeling the weight of the bags of silver given to them, maybe gulping a bit, and making their decisions on how to serve their master. There is weight to the gifts that God gives His children. I think the responses of the servants reflect two distinct types of servitude: 1) intentional and bold 2) selfish and timid. These are strong words that I’m sure most people fluctuate between, but the question I’ve been trying to answer is where more often than not do I fall on this spectrum? Where do I make decisions from? Do I honor Christ in my choices? Because God continually designs the body and assigns our gifts to work in harmony, for us not to act with our gifts would be to rob the kingdom of gods creation in us. I was stuck in “what do I have to offer? What do I have that I need to steward?” I was asking those questions and I have been convicted of trying to discount God’s gifts to his servant by saying I had nothing, when in reality, God has already placed a weighty bag of silver in my hands.
So, long story short, I’m different in the sense that I am learning how to reconcile my lifestyle to my beliefs by making my life less about me and more about others. I’ve learned how to relate to God as Master and am trying to practice true submission of the heart and spirit. I’ve recognized the danger of pride and how it will rob me of the joy of fulfilling my purpose. I would encourage everyone to honestly explore their strengths and weaknesses so you can discover your gifts and then pray about ways to use them to further the Kingdom.
Thank you so much for reading! I’m still working through a lot of these areas and would love to hear any additional insight. Please let me know if there is someway I can be praying for you. Much love and many blessings.
