There’s one thing that has become extremely evident to me this year. Weather you meet someone once, three times or spend a month with them, they could leave an impact on you that could last a lifetime. It’s kinda interesting how some people we spend years with, and some just an afternoon yet time doesn’t distinguish the amount they touch your heart. I’ve meet some people this year who will never leave my memories and all I did was sit down and talk to them as we shared a few cups of tea. This blog is about two scenarios just like that. Except no tea, no comfy couch, and sadly little to no freedom.. Both of these people I met while doing prison ministry in El Salvador. These two people may have been vastly different people at vastly different ages but they left something on my heart that continues to touch me. This month we did very many things at many different centers, typically working with orphans and those with special needs. Thursday and Friday were different stories though. On Thursday we visited a Female prison called “Feminino” and Friday it was a men’s prison called “El Espino”. See El Salvador struggles with gang violence on an extreme level. And these prisons were very evident of that. You could feel the enemy at work as soon as you walked into these buildings. So I want to share with you my experience of two different people I got the chance to meet while visiting these places. Both of these people were born in prison. One physically, one spiritually. One was a 4 ½ year old boy, yes he lives in prison… The other was a mid 20 year old ex gang member.
The 4 Year Old Behind Bars
Most of you read this and probably thought the same thing I did.. “Wait What?? How is that even possible??”. Well let me explain that first. See in El Salvador they have this extremely weird, unlogical law. If you are pregnant and get arrested, or become pregnant while in prison your child stays with you, until you are released or they turn 5 years old.. So adult females are not the only people in this prison, yes there is children also. Multiple children.. This boys mother is serving a life sentence. He is 4 ½ so in a few months he will be brought to an orphanage. As we gathered everyone and began our bible study I just stared at this boy. So many questions flooded my mind. Why are you here? Why didn’t they just put you in an orphanage when you were born? What effects does growing up in a prison leave on you? Does this in some sense set you up to one day be in a prison again? Who are your role models here? I mean the list just went on and on. But I thought now isn’t the time for answers. Maybe now is just the time to love on this little guy. Who knows how much of that he even gets. So me and my teammate DJ begin to play and love on this little child of God. To be honest he was pretty aggressive and wild. But that kinda makes sense. He clearly isn’t given the same structure as most. The lady next to me tells me he’s gotten much better. He use to be reckless. He was raised in an environment most couldn’t even imagine. When we needs to go to the bathroom he stands at the door and yells “BANO!!” Because when in a cell that’s how you let the guards know you need to use the bathroom. And yes he lives in a cell with his mom. It’s those types of things that you can tell his environment is having a huge impact on this helpless child. To be honest this whole day broke my heart and made me question God. It made me angry with him. Why was this innocent little boy paying the price for someone else’s crime? How can we expect for someone to succeed when before he said a single word, he was labeled as an “Inmate”? How could life spit in this boy’s face from the day he was born? Why would he be allowed to be with his mother (fit to care for him or not) just to be ripped away after a few years? I hope your not looking for any answers because these questions still haunt my mind to this day.. This boy showed me that life in unfair.(Not that the idea hasn’t been highlighted to me multiple times this year) But man was it highlighted today. My heart still goes out to that little boy and all the children in his shoes. If you are a believer, if you find yourself speaking to God tonight before bed, If you are forming a list of what to ask him for or help you with. I pray you add these poor children to the list. I think we could all agree whether its now or in a few years or ten, they are going to need it.
Raul, The Ex Gang Member
The men’s prison was heavy. You felt the hate surrounding the young men the first step in the door. Their tattooed covered bodies told stories of their lives. From the head to the feet they were covered in their gangs symbols like a race car covered by their sponsors. Most greeted us with a handshake but none with a smile. It was almost like it was against the rules of the prison to be happy. Until we were greeted by a young man. This young man was different. He carried what seemed to be a light with him. He smiled as he approached us shook our hands and introduced himself as Raul. He proudly showed us his custom designed t-shirt which he made with a white shirt and a pencil, it read in Spanish “My Life, My Savior, Jesus”. To be honest it was actually really good. While Eric taught a bible study and I shared my story he sat there with a smile on his face the whole time. As we finished he came up to talk. He thanked me for sharing my story, I thanked him for coming today. He smiled at me and said “I thank God each day for being able to hear his word, It’s by his grace alone that I’m standing here today. As you were speaking I told my friend, That will be us one day, soon enough we will go and tell our story and share how God Blessed us with life, no matter what mistakes we made” He pointed to some of my tattoos and asked about them. I told him they tell parts of my story, some happy, some sad, but all play a part. He pointed to his arms and legs covered in gang symbols, and the number 666. He said “This is my old life, I’m not proud of it, it’s why I’m here today, But my new life is in Christ and that’s all that matters now” I told him we all have stories, you may carry yours on the outside but you’re no different than the ones who carry them on the inside. I shared with him that one day he will be able to testify to God’s grace, and bring that light he carries to the lives of others. He just smiled, he didn’t need to hear me say it, God already told him that. He has been behind bars for 4 years, 1 year ago he accepted God in his heart, and he has 5 more years to serve. But that isn’t discouraging him. He has been given permission to clean out a spare storage room and now holds devotionals for his fellow inmates that want the same change. He has become an extremely bright light in a heavily dark place. It’s funny how God works in that way. Just from the few conversations I had with this young man I knew we shared the same thought, God has everybody where he needs them. Weather that is on a missions trip in El Salvador, or in prison. Raul may have made the decisions that brought him there but God is using him just where he’s at.
There’s one thing that crowds my mind as I try to relate these two people. One story makes sense yet the other doesn’t, to me at least. But one thing I’m starting to realize is God is using people where they are at. Wether that make sense to us or not, God isn’t easy to understand. I always struggle with the thought of “We have freewill, yet God has a plan for us”. Why doesn’t he just make everyone’s life a fun easy plan then? Why do people struggle and suffer? Is that really God’s plan? I hope again your not looking for an answer cause I’m not God. But what I’m beginning to understand or believe though is often we ourselves, or people around us have control over decisions that may affect us or others. Gods plan was not to make us mindless robots who follow his every will. He desires to have a relationship with us yes, but its not forced. That’s what makes it so beautiful. If your boss came up to you at work and said “Hey i decided you and person B are going to get married” how would you feel? The beauty in marriage and love is that we buy into each other, its not forced. So God may not have forced the little boy to be born in prison, his Mom did whatever crime she did. God didn’t put Raul in prison, he made his own decision to be there. But does that mean God isn’t still working in both of them? Does that mean because someone is walking down path B when God was hoping they would walk down path A that God left them at the fork in to road? No. He is consistent, loyal, graceful, merciful, and loving without condition. Just because you may find yourself at a position in life that seems to be hard to understand doesn’t mean God isn’t there walking right beside you through it. We must look to him in every situation, the good the bad, and the ugly. Whether your in Maine, California, or El Salvador God is with you. Maybe that little boys opportunity is to bring light to the prison he calls home the way that children do oh so well. Maybe Rauls opportunity is to be an inspiration to those around him who he can relate to that it’s never to late for change. Maybe me being there was an opportunity to share two beautiful lives that God is working in with those back home who may never meet these two. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. Maybe we should just trust and have faith in God. Whether it makes sense at the time or not.
