I’m scared. I’m afraid. I don’t know if I will get what I need for the race. I tell people and they think it is amazing.
But that is as far as it goes. I pray for help, and Nothing happens. All the tears I have cried for everything I have done, all the pain I see, the brokenness.
I cry to God to help me. But I hear no answer. I cry out in tears to Jesus. But no answer.
Just peace, encouragement, or simply it will be ok is all I need.
All I think about is the race. The lives I will touch, how my life will forever change.
I’m scared.
I am scared that through everything I will be left here with nothing, still broken and scared. ALONE
I am afraid that I will become the same as I was before. ALONE
I need your help God. I need you right now more than anything in the world. Please help me.
Take it all God. Take everything that I have. Take everything I hold. Take ME.
Please, Please God take everything I hold dear and give me what I really need.
TAKE IT ALL!
You have given me so much peace. So much faith that it will be ok. Why not now God?
Where are you now?
I know where you are. You are right here, right beside me catching every tear embracing me with all your love!!
I know. I can feel you God.
Thank you. Thank you for loving me when I took your name in vain. Thank you for loving me when I turned against you and went my own way. I love you God.
Thank you for sending Jesus for me. For everyone.
Thank you.
