Ever study a passage of Scripture and wish you could ignore what you just read? Close the book discreetly while looking around to ensure no one was watching and could potentially ask what you were reading. That way you could go on with no liability of being held accountable of your newfound knowledge?
Ya, me neither.
But had that ever happened to me, I would imagine it would’ve been with something David said in 2 Samuel 24:24.
Coming up on month 5 of the race I am questioning the cost of my sacrifice.
Yes, I have given 11 months of my life to serve 11 countries in 11 months and that is a beautiful thing, but am I really sacrificing? Or if I am honest with myself am I actually serving within my own controlled comforts and avoiding true sacrifice?
If a genuine sacrifice is that which costs me something than I would need to answer that question with “NO”.
So that leads me to some time of introspection…
only to fight for them so strongly every month here on the race?
Why did I sign up for a journey to be stretched like never before
and yet choose to fight God tooth and nail at the slight feeling of growing pains?
Why did I ask God to strip me of anything that is not of Him
but yet squirm and run away when He shows me just a glimpse of my selfishness?
Why do I think that my “sacrificial” giving or serving without any real cost
is really a sacrifice at all?
I am definitely operating from a place of grace for myself and not shame, I promise. I believe God knows my heart and my intention for a life of sacrifice. I also believe that is only through His strength and grace that this kind of life He has called us to is even possible.
In closing, real sacrifice is a constant decision, a relentless surrender and the life I desire to lead.
…thanks a lot David.
