“All men die; few men really live.”
Those poignant words from one of my favorite movies, Braveheart, echoed in my mind as I, along with many other men from all over the world, walked a twelve-mile stretch of the Appalachian Trail. This was day 6 of training camp, and the men and women had separated to talk about what it means to be sons and daughters of God and to talk about the struggles of each. The men took to the woods to learn about what it means to be men of God.
As we got further in, about halfway through, we were asked to continue the trek for the next 30 minutes in silence as we listened to whatever God had for us.
“Few men really live.”
I was continuously being brought back to those words, and while they were effective in giving me chills and amping me up, I didn’t know what the deeper implications were. I began to think, okay, yeah. I’ll really live. You got it. I figured that was the extent of the meaning of this word from God. So I moved on.
At the end of our silence, we were invited to share with the guys on our squad what God had been stirring in our hearts. I shared with them the words I kept hearing and how it made me feel, chills and all.
Then one of my leaders asked me, “What does it mean for you to really live?”
What?
I had nothing to say. I was immediately aware that I was fumbling for words to explain my way through the question until I eventually surrendered and said, “I don’t know.” Once I came to the conclusion that I didn’t really know at all, at least for myself, I was encouraged to bring that question before God.
For the rest of that night and into the next day, as I thought about that question, I realized it was a question I have wanted to ask God for the last year; I just didn’t know that I wanted to ask him. I understood immediately that he was not going to answer it in one day. I knew it would be a matter of his own timing and process to tell me. I was okay with that.
Fast forward a few days into training camp. All the squads broke off individually to go to specific ministry training each person was interested in. I got the opportunity to go to a writing/storytelling workshop where we talked about our blogs and how to tell our story. From there, we broke off into smaller groups to workshop and discuss ideas we had for our blogs.
I’ve liked the idea of having a theme for my blog for quite some time, I just couldn’t come up with how it would look. I also knew that I wouldn’t want to constrain myself to rigid guidelines about what I can and can’t post according to my theme because I know there will be a lot of blogs I write that will be random pieces of my heart or fun pieces of my journey. I was totally okay with that. But I knew I wanted a theme for my journey. I couldn’t find it, though.
So when I piped up and shared with everyone after our small groups came back together into the larger group, I said exactly that: I would love to have a theme for my journey that I can come back to at least once a month, but I didn’t know what it was.
And as soon as the words left my mouth I had it. I said, “Actually, I think I just found my theme.”
What does it mean to really live?
If you’ve kept up with my journey thus far, I want to encourage you to continue to stay tuned in. Up until now I really think God has been preparing me for this journey, and it’s been such a beautiful process. He’s been so patient with me. However, I think this journey is going to be more than a cool life experience that I should do right now because I’m not tied down.
God is really inviting me into something that’s way over my head. He’s ready to sweep me up into something I can’t control to not just tell me, but to show me what it means to really live.
And I want everyone to be a part of that journey. I want to share with everyone my experience of truly living in union with him and not holding back out of fear. Whether it means bungee jumping in Nepal, sharing the Gospel with a stranger, or being 100% vulnerable with my team, I just want to know what it means to really live.
That is what God is inviting us all into. It’s what he meant for us all along. And the key thing to remember is you don’t have to go on the World Race to experience that. God can show us true life in every aspect of our day-to-day lives. You don’t have to search for life and try to fit God in. He is life. By simply allowing yourself to be drawn into him and loved by him, you can’t help but to experience that.
So now, with just 4 days left before Launch, I’m preparing my heart to receive more of his life. I’ve been spending time learning to walk with him without questioning his every move. Rather than ending the day mentally exhausted and dry, I have given up my right to know everything. Life is not about knowing why. It’s about cultivating a relationship with God filled with trust and intimacy.
This is what I’m running with as I prepare to leave my family and friends for 11 months. To learn to rely wholly on the providence of God will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. He wants nothing more than for you to simply rely on him, and nothing less than surrendering every part of you to him. It’s going to be more than hard, but I’m desperate for more of him. So I’ve got to trust him.
“I am the way and the truth and the life.” – John 14:6
