Wow! what a journey so far. There have been a lot of up and downs. I have been doubting myself in many areas of life. Have seen some amazing views and lately have had a lot of laughs. I have really beat myself up at times and have questioned my relationship with God. Thankfully I have had my team really pick me up. There is so much intentional time with God that it is starting to make me think about the things I need healing in. It is forcing me to face my fears and to keep spending time with the Lord. My team is so amazing and I just see there example and cannot help but share the secrets of my past and present struggles. Very uncomfortable at times but I know God is faithfull in his pursuit of me. Also he will heal me not me, what I can do is trust until he fulfills his work in me. It is so freakin hard! To get vulnerable with people and to share your past but I believe there is so much healing in that. Confess your sins with one another that you may be healed, James said that in his book in the bible. But what I think is most important, confess your sins to God and you will be forgiven. That is at the end of chapter 1 in 1 John. I have wanted to give up multiple times, but I know God is with me. As I am writing this now the last 3 days have been amazing, the best so far on the race. Identity in christ has helped me to be myself. I am doing amazing!! Thanks for your prayers.
So I guess you could say that this trip has been about my own personal growth more than anything so far. It is funny because the base that we are at in Nicragua is a Anventures in missions base and the director Scott is big on helping us for after the race. He said a lot of times racers have a tough time when they go home. He wants us to serve well when we get back in our communities. We as a squad have been stressing the great commandment before the great commision. You can’t give love to people if your not filled with love yourself. It doesn’t start with missions. It starts with intmacy with the Lord and community. I thought I was ready to serve but they want us to grow first because they have seen a pattern with racers. I myself have seen things that question my ability to serve. I got so convicted by a book I read before the race on things we are going through right now!! It was the same book we are reading at the base. A man who works at the base Nathan, told us bravery or courage is when you have fear but overcome it. But the bible says that perfect love casts out fear. So as christians we are not called to bravery we are called to fearlessness. When you are fearless your motives are pure with love. Love drives us to do crazy things without this gut wrenching effort. He also said that to many christians are trying to be brave. We are not the heroes, Gods love is. But ya, very convicting for me. But I never forget that this is all for love. But sometimes we always want to jump to action, when we just need to wait.
Thanks everyone for your prayers and support. pray for are growth as a squad and team. For carter, my teammate who is back at the base dealing with head issues. For my cousin Ryan who has been in a coma for 2 weeks.
We are now at Ciudad Dario, Nicaragua. Are team was picked to drive 2 hours north of where the rest of are squad is and we are helping out with boys from 9-15. It is like bible school. Also pray for this ministry. Tara works real hard and the staff here has a heart for these boys. Also for the rest of the squad back in Granada Nicragua. I hope to send pictures of the last few months. check out facebook too. Thanks, lots of love from Nicragua!!
