The past couple of weeks in Ecuador have been amazing. God has moved in amazing ways and has taught me a lot about myself and my calling. To begin with, I started the World Race not knowing how God gifted me specifically to spread his Kingdom. By this I mean, I thought I had nothing to contribute to his kingdom and no gifts or talents that God could use to advance his kingdom. All I focused on were my limitations which I believed to be my voice. I believed I had no ability to speak or communicate because I stuttered so much and because I was so timid. I had so much fear about speaking that that was my greatest fear about coming on the race. I didn’t want to preach or share
the gospel because I thought I would fumble through my words and that no one would understand and I would freeze up. However, all of these fears and anxieties were holding me back from discovering the gifts and tools the Lord had given me to advance his kingdom.
As I mentioned in other blogs already, God began a work in my life in Colombia freeing me from all of these negative thoughts. However, God continued his work here like his word says in Phillipians 1:6 “He that began a great work in
you will carry it out to completion.” It began for me when we began door to door ministry with other churches. In one of the homes we visited, we encountered a young teenage who had strayed and rebelled from the faith. She had been believing a lot of lies about friends and what true frienship was. When she was younger, she spoke about having an experience at a retreat where she gave her life to Christ. However, when she began her relationship with the Lord all her friends left her and stopped talking to her. So, in order to please that group of friends she left the church a few months later and reunited with those friends. My amazing and bold squad leader just spoke to her as a woman and spoke her testimony with regards to some of the issues and struggles she faced and then she turned to us and asked us if anyone felt led to share the full gospel. In her discernment she did not feel the woman had a good understanding of the gospel. At this point, my heart starts beating
really quickly and I start to feel a tug in my heart that it is my turn to share the gospel. I chose to shut it down hoping someone else would step up. Finally after a long pause, Brittany began to share the gospel with her and after just a couple of sentences, my heart can’t take it, instead of translating the last thing she said, I told her that I could share the gospel and I began sharing with her how God wants an intimate relationship with her, one that is much deeper than the ones she could form with even any of her friends. I shared the entire gospel message from beginning to end. Afterwards, I had the opportunity
to lead her in a prayer for greater intimacy with the Lord. Then, Brittany got to lead the girl in a prayer for greater presence of the Holy Spirit in her life in order to transform her desires so that she can become an influence to her friends and not the other way around.
I truly believe that God did a work in that girl’s life that will leave her changed forever. We are just instruments in God’s hands waiting and positioning ourselves to be used by God. But, it takes the first step of faith, that willingness to step out and look like a fool in order to fully get to experience God’s work through you. Since that point, I have grown so much in boldness that I am now constantly ready to share the gospel and the reason for my faith. (1 Peter 3:15) Since that point, my mindset has shifted to the point where every time I encounter a new person I am consistently looking for ways I can share the gospel. I still miss many oppurtunities because of odd circumstances or lack of boldness or because it is uncomfortable, however, the biggest difference is my mindset. Before I would not
even be thinking about sharing the gospel with my Uber driver. Now, I am looking for a way to bring up Jesus and what he has
done in my life.
All of this to say, God has used this journey and this month here in Ecuador to help me find some of the spiritual gifts God
has given me to spread his kingdom. I have found that I have been given the gift of knowledge, teaching and preaching to advance his kingdom. It is really difficult for me to write this out because I, for a grand portion of my life, believed that if I spoke about my gifts that it was pride or something. I always told people I had no gifts or abilities. This destroyed the work God was
trying to do through me because I was saying He was not strong enough to do something through me. Our squad mentor always tells us that Humility is seeing ourselves as God sees us. It is taking the lens of God’s scripture and applying it to ourselves. It is not always knocking ourselves down. Sometimes it is, but equally detrimental as lifting oneself above everyone else, is tearing yourself down below how God sees you. You have infinite worth to an infinite creator God. Your self-esteem does not come from your abilities
or talents. It comes from the maker of the heavens and the earth who calls you his Son and Daughter worthy to die for. On the other hand,
just because your worth doesn’t come from your talents or abilities doesn’t mean God created you without talents or abilities. I allowed
myself to believe that lie for the majority of my life and it stifled what God was trying to do. If you are a Son or Daughter of the
King and have a relationship with Jesus, you have been given the Holy Spirit and with Him you have been given spiritual gifts that you can
use to advance his kingdom. Walk in God’s love and know that you are Sons and Daughters of the sovereign Lord of Heaven and Earth who
“did not even spare his own Son for us, how will he not with him graciously give us all things”. (Romans 8:32) “Or which one of you,
if his son asks him for bread, will give him ca stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”
(Matthew 7:9-11). God gives good gifts to his children not so that we can boast in the gift but so that we can boast in the gift-giver, God our father.
