My little sister and I have a really strong relationship. I apologized that I will miss her birthday for probably the 11th year in a row. She responded “It’s alright. You’re good at leaving. It’s kind of your thing.” She intended to convey that I didn’t need to worry about being gone, it’s normal. What I received was that I was never available for her and that is normal.
Cara (or Jimmy as I like to call her) is 26, so not actually that little at all (except that she’s 5’2), and doesn’t play games with people. If she meant to convey that I’ve walked out on her, she’d tell me straight up, so I’m not worried that there was hidden meaning, it just put some things in perspective. We had a good talk and worked out, so we’re all good now – here’s what it got me thinking about.
I’ve left home for a number of reasons – college, nothing significant, college, nothing significant, duty station, deployment, etcetera – but being honest with myself (and you), this is the first time I actually feel good about it. Every time I’ve left, it was for a self-serving, prideful reason. I chose the school far away, I chose to prioritize something else, I chose to leave because its what I wanted to do. The punchline is I always chose myself over everything. My family was always supportive and justified my reasoning for being gone – great opportunity, obligations elsewhere, bettering myself, serving my country. Do you know what the biggest lie of all was? That serving my country was the most honorable thing I could do. I would never take back my time in the Marine Corps, nor would I try to talk anyone out of serving, but as much as I wanted to say I was serving my country, I was serving myself. There were a lot of opportunities to serve others in the Corps, but I was serving myself. I was an Infantry Officer in the United States Marine Corps. I had an awesome job with awesome people that got awesome reactions when I told people what I did for a living. I loved it.
Victoria and I are going overseas for a year doing missions work; doing God’s work. So here I am leaving again, but this time I feel that it is the most honorable thing we could do. We’ve spent countless hours with our team, squad, and organization talking about what it means to be obedient to God. In all other circumstances, I knew what lay ahead of me, thought it would be impressive, and for that reason, wanted to go. This time, if you ask anyone on the squad, they’ll all tell you the same thing – WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN – and that’s exactly why we’re going. The only thing we do know, is that God has a plan. Fun fact. Today is August 4 and last night we booked where we’re going to stay when we land tomorrow. I’m not kidding. There’s a lot we’re just going to figure out as we go. Fun fact. Our first country is closed, we don’t have a host, and we don’t have a ministry partner. But we have God and that is enough. Fun fact. There are four levels of life (or ministry depending on your outlook because ministry is life and life is ministry, duh): for me, for them (those you serve), about Him, and for Him. It’s far too easy to pick what we want and justify it how we need to in order to feel that it is “for Him”, but the bottom-line is if it doesn’t bring glory to His kingdom, it isn’t for Him.
Anything you do can bring glory to the kingdom, but if that isn’t first and foremost, you are serving something else.
We leave in less than 24 hours and we’re still not quite sure what we signed up for, but we couldn’t be more positive that this is the right thing to do. God called and we answered. We have the support of our friends and family and will be hitting the ground with some of the strongest Christians we have yet to encounter.
Our squad will be establishing, building, and continuing relationships for larger squads with more manpower to come minister-away to. Our work this year will will be tremendous for spreading God’s love and the name of Jesus, but our legacy will lay in the opportunities to come behind, us which we may never see or understand. And that is beautiful.
Please keep us in your prayers as we begin this journey for the kingdom.
