When we arrived in Kathmandu, Nepal, we were received by our Squad Coaches and Squad Mentor (for a refresher on who is who and what their role/responsibility is, please read this blog). We spent the first two weeks debriefing our experience on the race so far – what we did, what we saw, what we learned – and learning practical ways to receive God as a Father and how to share gifts of the Spirit, of Jesus, and of God. Here are a few short stories about how John got put on time-out, how we experienced God’s truth, and how we were able to share God in us with the people of Kathmandu.
Time-out:
The traditional routes have up to 50 racers and only 2 logistics coordinators so I felt a squad with 18 races and 3 logistics coordinators was going to be a little much. For different reasons, our 3 logistics coordinators dropped to 2 before the launch and to 1 before our Tibet tour. I didn’t think it would be a big deal; I’ve handled stuff like this before, communication and coordination is my strength. I got this. Wrong. I DIDN’T GOT THIS. The planning stage of moving the squad was fine. Coordinating with our tour guide was fine. Coordinating debrief and training was fine. Execution rocked my world. If Maj Ed Ferguson is reading this, he’ll probably laugh and comment on how he agrees that my attention to detail is “in development” at best. If any of my Marines are reading this, my attention to detail was really Staff NCO making sure things happened. This is something I’ve known for a while but struggle to correct or improve.
The short version goes like this: Victoria worked diligently to stay organized and I worked diligently to make sure that didn’t happen. I had three budgets, two credit cards (which each hit the daily limit multiple days in a row), one financial tracking system, and zero organization. I emailed our state-side Squad Administrator, Lindsey (she works logistics farther ahead than I do) and said something along the lines of
“Lindsey, I’m so sorry… everything is on Gorilla (financial tracking system), but it isn’t right.”
Then I asked her to review the posts I made and help me sort it all out. She had to dig into accounting to pull bank statements (because I’m locked out of my Bank of America account). Then she worked backwards to make sure everything reflected accurately.
Jewel and Victoria helped out with logistics stuff a lot, particularly when I got pulled into secondary security trying to cross the border from China into Nepal. In general, they took initiative and sought tasks to complete, they stayed organized (as much as I would allow them), and they worked in the now instead of my day-dreamer head focusing down the road. They were extremely helpful, despite me not wanting them to be. Though Victoria didn’t use these words, I truly got put on time-out while she helped figure out some lodging changes that needed to happen and I calmed myself down and organized the mess I made.
Lesson learned: how to recognize when too much is too much and that I can’t be tougher than my weaknesses on my own.
God’s Truth:
Debrief was a good time. We spent time in one-on-ones with staff leadership, in team discussions with staff leadership, and learning in faith with staff leadership. Basically, it was an opportunity for different, experienced perspectives and wisdom to be shared with us. Our team leaders and squad leaders are well equipped and look after us well, but there just isn’t anything you can substitute for 30 years of ministry experience. Mark and Jane spoke a familiar message to us and over us – that we are God’s children, created perfectly as He needs us to be. Their focus was if we are God’s children, then He is our Father. Obviously this is true. Obviously we’ve heard this before. Obviously we all trust God as a Father. Right? The message they shared with us over several days (oversimplified here) was that we often look to God the Father with parameters WE place on HIM based on our earthly father limitations. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, because there are some tremendous fathers our there – I have one of them, but they’re just not God. The inputs that limit how we receive God the Father could be great fathers, absent fathers, mothers that fill the void of fathers, uncles, cousins, brothers, friends, coaches, mentors, teachers, the list goes on. The point is no matter how wonderful they are, how much of themselves they pour into us, or how much they don’t, whoever that person is, isn’t God, will never be God, and won’t ever come close to matching God. If we put an earthly lens on a Heavenly being, we won’t ever truly be a child of God as He intended because we aren’t letting him Father us as He intended. Mark and Jane spoke intently about healing in this regard. Not necessarily to suggest that we have been damaged by fatherly influences or that any of them are wrong, or incomplete, but how to recognize the size of the box we’ve put God in and how to change the way we see Him.
Similarly, anything we allow to be a distraction or disruption from how God created us can easily be accepted as truth and lead us farther from who God needs us to be. I want to be careful here and specify that we are uniquely made for individual purposes and that I don’t intend to suggest we need to blend into a certain personality or communicative type, but it is easy to mistake how we behave for who God created us to be. Personality is enduring, but behavior is malleable and usually a result of experience or circumstance. Let me explain. We can use my buddy Curt for example. Thanks Curt. Curt isn’t a real person so he should be fine with it. If for all his life, Curt is a positive, optimistic kind of dude, but allows someone to claim that he is negative or pessimistic in a way that causes Curt to internalize it, Curt could very easily become negative and pessimistic. Is this how God created Curt? No, because everything of God is good. Genesis 1:31 says
“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.”
I dare you to find me somewhere in the creation story that says God intended for you to be a stinker. Distractions from who God made us to be don’t take us farther from God. They do not stand between us in our relationship with him, but they do limit us on representing His Kingdom and His Son as He intended. God will always be there for us, but that means we always need to be there for him too. Shake off the hurt, the pain, and the distractions; liberate yourself. Ask God who He needs you to be and how He wants you to serve. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4:4 against false teaching
“for everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving.”
Specifically, Paul is talking about unclean foods, but the statement stands. Its pooossible that God needs Curt to be a dark individual so he can speak to communities that aren’t filled with bubbly, outgoing optimists. Who are we to decide what is right or wrong? We do know, however, that God did not create anyone to be negative. But if we celebrate God’s creation and serve His Kingdom, it is good. We are good.
Squad training was similar to debrief, but instead of looking back at what we had experienced, it was looking forward at ways to share the Trinity and the Gospel more intimately. Stephanie spent a few days teaching us about the gifts from the Holy Spirit (manifestations of the Spirit; 1 Corinthians), gifts from Jesus (ways to live like Him; Romans), and gifts from God (ways to have grace like Him; Ephesians) and it was amazing. I’ve always expected gifts like these to be a heavenly blessing given to the anointed when God calls on them. That part is correct. My expectation that I am not blessed in these ways is incorrect. Stephanie explained that our expectations or hesitations regarding the gifts is much like any other limitation we place on God – scripture tells us these are GIFTS from God, not rewards, that we are all blessed by them and that God intends for us to use them! It’s a matter of unwavering faith, patience, and righteousness that allows us to practice them.
Lesson learned: Being a child of God is hard, but we are all anointed and we are all blessed. Regarding gifts, we are each given ALL of the gifts! Which ones we are able to receive, however, is largely based on how willing we are to ask God how to use them to demonstrate His glory.
We have more to share about sharing in Kathmandu but we’ll save it for the next post. Let’s called this “to be continued”.
