In the interest of being transparent, which is one expectation for my experience with the World Race, I have a fun story to share. The punchline is that it isn’t fun at all and I’m actually terrified of “ministry”.
Why “ministry”? Because I don’t know what ministry looks like. I’ve done the random “stop a person at a shopping mall and follow the conversational steps to ask if they care to know Jesus”. I’ve spent a few weeks getting to know a family and helping build them a house. I’ve volunteered at various shelters, homes, and centers. I’m not any good at it, I don’t have the right personality for it, and I’m not comfortable doing it.
In my head, a minister (or even a Christian for that matter) is someone that is super outgoing and charasmatic, and that can Bible-thump their way through any situation as they are open and emphatic about their relationship with Christ and desires to help others establish similar relationships. Oh, and of course they ACTIVELY pursue this desire. Though this is my perception of a Christian, I’m kinda just sitting here thinkin “Well, Jesus loves me. He loves you too. Don’t be a jerk.” and that’s about it. People exhaust me, I’m friendly but private, and the only Bible versus I can really recite are “love is patient, love is kind…” (-ish.. but don’t even know what part of Corinthians that is), John 3:16-17 (John 3:17 I feel strongly about though, I’ll save that for another time) and James 1:2-3. I mostly just choose the “practice what you preach and when necessary, use words” method of ministry.
Story time.
I was raised in the Church. Every Sunday I went to Catechism, youth group from 6th grade through 12th, and various bible studies and small groups through college and whatever life-stage I’m in now. “Ministry” is something I’ve always struggled with. I was taught to study the Bible. The emphasis was academic – that’s the story, these are the rules, this is what you do with the knowledge. Eventually I made my way to a ministry group that focused on His love, what it meant to have a relationship with God and how we can share His love as He shares with us. It rocked my world. I had a ton of fun and saw a lot of personal growth and development. I respected and enjoyed the group so much that I asked to volunteer, become a leader, and help develop the younger crowd in the way I appreciated. NOPE. Direct quote from the Ministry Leader right here – “You’re not really right for it, but you can come help out. You’re job will kinda be like, to be the cool guy. To make cool games and do fun activities and get people to come. Then you can kinda hand them off to the REAL CHRISTIANS to do the ministering and teach them about God” (italics and capitalization was for my emphasis, they didn’t really say it with all that drama). That conversation was THIRTEEN YEARS AGO. Think it damaged me much? Well, I studied psychology and my big expensive education says, yeah, probably. The worst part is that aside from being incredibly hurt, I accepted and internalized that I was not a “real Christian” and was not capable of proper ministry so instead, I would become the cool guy” as my “Leader” put it.
So here I am, on the verge of a year long mission trip over seas – won’t know the language, won’t know the culture, won’t know the ministry, but I’m strangely confident. Other than repeatedly telling myself “just be cool, you’ll figure out your place” I’m not yet sure how to handle it, but that’s part of my excitement. The World Race is a tremendous opportunity to be ministered to – from my leaders, my team, and the locals we interact with. My mind is open, my heart is open, and my mouth is shut (for now). I’ve said for years now that I trust God and want to do His will. Looking the World Race in the face, I now understand what an arrogant statement that’s been. I’m excited, just gotta be cool.
