Strolling
into the biggest Buddhist temple in Nepal was a feeling of sheer
nothingness. In Buddhism, the main purpose is to achieve
nonexistence (or nothingness or emptiness) through the detachment of
all worldly thought and worldly material. This is how one
experiences enlightenment. Enlightenment is reached by ridding
oneself of any worldly attachments in order to end worldly suffering.
However, there is no Heaven or spiritual realm (which differs from
Hinduism) after enlightenment – just nonexistence.
Walking into
the temple gates we were “greeted” by three giant, golden Buddha
statues. Although the crafting of rock and wood was amazing. Even
though the colors, architecture, and craftsmanship were carefully
designed for the aesthetic of the temple, to me it seemed to add a
disturbing godlessness to it all. It was sad to watch people stand
in front of these three statues paying homage to just that –
statues. Not only did they pray to the statues; they also held
chains and to pray to Buddha. Prayers to Buddha were done through
the fingering of beads on a chain and the spinning of carved
cylinders. Which is ironic because Buddha never wanted to be revered
as a god. Pretty crazy huh? So, why is Buddha idolized? Because
people placed unnecessary value in worshiping him to gain
enlightenment instead of solely following his teachings.
But
this was only the base of the temple. We had to go up the high hill
to reach the “actual” temple. With each step the walk up the
hill became heavier and heavier for some. The darkness was so thick,
a couple of teammates said it felt like wading in water. But, in
order to see more of the temple and how Buddhism is ingrained in
Nepali society, we had to go to the very top. However, because of we
were foreigners we were going to be charged a great deal of money to
enter the “holy” Buddhist courtyard. So since I can
conveniently pass for a Nepali, our contact decided that I should go
up. This was going to be difficult to do on my own with what I’ve
had to relearn about spiritual authority this month. I looked up at
the never-ending stone stair case up to the courtyard and began to up
one foot in front of the other. The walk was long and heavy. A
couple times I even looked back at my teammates for comfort. The
further I walked along, a myriad of thoughts rushed through my mind.
But, the the main thoughts that crossed my mind was “should I turn
around?; You should go to overcome this fear of darkness; Test or put
your authority to use; Man up and walk in authority.” But I knew I
had to keep pressing into Christ especially in such a dark place.
Just as I started to realize the strength in me, the black rock of
idols came into view. This was enough to make me turn around, but I
pushed against the thought of giving up; of letting evil discourage
me. I knew this went further than just looking at a some rock
sculptures. It was to instill a stronger, deeper sense of authority
in Christ. Something I undoubtly had to embrace.
I
finally got to the courtyard. Wow. This courtyard overlooked the
entire city of Kathmandu. It represented the stronghold Buddhism and
idolatry had on Nepali culture. The mere sight of it was enough to
make me turn around in disgust. The darkness was SO thick. You
could feel it in the atmosphere right away. There was some sort of
an invisible shield of darkness . The manifestations of evil came in
the forms of idols and pillars of various sizes on one side of the
courtyard and three massive temples on the side.
A
friend put it this way, “People are looking to the temple/ hill for
refuge. That is their end all-be all. But God, the Creator of the
hill, sees and loves this same city even though they only see the
temple; even though they can’t see past the hill to God who is
watching over them from above the temple.”
Even
though I had the light of Christ in me, I could feel the darkness
closing in on me; the light diminishing. I hesitated multiple times
with the thought of returning to my group. Just as I was about to
end my little adventure, Raimie (the other guy on our team) and our
contact appeared out of nowhere. All of a sudden it was as though
light came out of no where. I felt safe again. They were my refuge
and they lite up my surroundings. It was so evident that God had His
eyes on me the entire time.
Going
through this experience definitely strengthened my authority in God.
Earlier in the month I came to a point where I finally had to
confront my fear or hesitation concerning spiritual authority. Most
times I’ll flee in intense types of situations or places. Its been a
struggle of fight or flight for me the past couple of years. In
Nepal, I recognized that I
wanted to get to a point where certain places (statues, temples,
etc.) won’t affect me because of the spiritual authority Christ gave
me and the light of Christ in me. It’s something that I’ve had to
live out instead of just thinking about it and talking about it. I
had to look inside myself and find the courage to let God lead in
these type of situations instead of leaning onto my own resolve. God
is bigger than my fears. I know that going to that courtyard by
myself allowed me to press into Christ and grew my faith as well. It
was a breakthrough for me in terms of how my authority in Christ. I
have more strength in my identity in Christ because of my willingness
to step out in faith and “face” the darkness with Lord.
