The mechanical workings of this train hissed and roared as it rolled through the undergrowth of the Malaysian jungle. It’s brakes squealed, and all the humming and hissing started to sound like the swelling of a techno song that’s about to drop. Imagine Dragons should go and record it and use the sounds in their next album. It would be so sick and they would make a killing.
I was on my way of another small town, Kuala Lipus, with Brooks and Derek, the two other guys on my team. We we’re going to meet up with an all girls team who wanted us to spend time with a young guy named Sam, a new believer without many guys to hang with. It was also his birthday the next day. When they asked us to come we hopped on the train that evening.
During this night time ride I had my family, ministry, a girl, the past eight months, and my future on my mind. Some of it was good , some of it was rough, and it put me in this middle ground of emotions where I was leaning more towards low end of the spectrum of feelings. I was holding on to all of this instead of giving it to God.
All the thoughts in my head that were making me sad were kicked out of focus by a sudden jolt on the tracks, roughly rocking me in my seat, just as I was about to fall asleep. Probably just a simple over correction by the driver. All the same, my eyes opened up.
People were wearing traditional Muslim garb all over the train, with the exception of the few Malaysian Indians that were scattered about.
I thought about how amazing it was that I was here in this moment, instead of back home, living the same year over and over, getting older and older, and calling that living. I began a conversation with the couple next to me.
They were from the UK and they were genuinely cool. I talked about the trip in the vaguest of details because in an Islamic state talking about The World Race could turn some heads really quickly. It can also shut the doors of hearts, and walls, in the spiritual sense, could be built up and fortified in a second if you say the name of Jesus in the wrong place.
I’m a lot like my dad, I love to talk and listen. If we have a conversation, you have my full attention. When my conversation with the Brits came to an end, I started looking around the train.
The trains swelling Serenade made me laugh. There was too much going on for me to not be entertained.
Their was young boy sitting slant ways in front of me. But he wasn’t little. He was chubby, or fluffy.He was wearing a batman shirt and holding a Spider-Man pillow, and he was tossing and turning. Whenever he would lay his head on his mom she would smack him on the neck. It was really mean, and I know this is messed up, but it made me laugh.
Then he knocked his juice off of his tray table to the aisle and I watched him process all he would have to do to get it. It brought me a lot of joy watching him try and figure it out. As he began his strenuous reach the man in front of me reached down and passed him his carton. It was kind of anti-climactic.
There was a baby girl with Cindy Lou Who hair a couple of seats in front of me. She was super cute and had a precious smile. She also cried every time her mom sat down, which meant her momma was pacing up and down the aisle until the lil’ Doctor Seuss-y baby lady was out for the night.
I listened to a couple of good podcasts, and my heart got really untangled as the train wound it’s way through the Malaysian wood.
I wondered at how God could be mindful of me. I wondered what the little lights of this train looked like from above, weaving in and out of tree cover in the night. Another correction by the driver on the tracks shifted me again, but this time emotionally.
I started thanking God for all the smiles and encouragement and love and praise worthy things that he had given me throughout my life. I prayed for the people that had hurt me. I prayed for the people that had loved me. I prayed for my family back home. I prayed against helplessness knowing that no weapon formed against me will prosper.
Earlier in the month, I had a couple conversations in Gua Musang that I needed to have, heard things that I needed to hear, and knew without a doubt that God was with me the whole time. God has been with me since day one. God had known me since before eternity. All these things helped me process in a healthy way and stand with open hands before God who has radical plans for me. Radical plans for tomorrow and radical plans for today.
When we got off the train in Kuala Lipus and we saw the ladies from the other team, I realized a few awesome things.
God did not want me to go to bed sad that night. He wanted me to be amazed at where I was. He wanted me to share about my trip, and with that, even though I could only vaguely share, I was sharing the gospel and encouraging that couple.
He wanted me to laugh at the little clumsy chubby kid.
He wanted me to hear the encouragements in the podcasts I was listening to.
He wanted me to feel like Indiana Jones when I jumped from one train car to the other to use the bathroom.
He wanted me to feel loved when the girls from the other team hugged me and said it was great to see me.
He wanted me to feel loved when they compared me to Chris Treagor from Parks and Recreation.
He wanted me to laugh and feel engaged when we talked about Harry Potter later that night.
He wanted me to be a male Christian presence in Sam’s life, even if it was just for a night.
God changed my heart over the course of that three hour train ride. The over corrections corrected me. God loved me intensely that night, and I knew I was back on track when I stepped of the tracks.
