Can I be real with you for a second? Good because I have a confession. I’m a planner. No seriously, like I’m a PLANNER! Perhaps it’s a control thing or perhaps just being a book nerd, but I like to plan, coordinate, and execute decisions, events, and outings as much as Betty Crocker likes to bake. I find myself in a restful place when all of my ducks are in a row, my t’s are crossed, and my i’s are dotted just before I embark on just about.. well, anything.
So what happened when this planner crossed paths with nonplanners? Well, it was like a turtle mating with a dolphin – it was NOT a match made in heaven. For a couple of weeks, my squad mates Evan, KKn (Kristin Kendall) and I have been pursuing a relationship with two of the girls we met at a bar in the red-light district. Yesterday we invited them for a lunch date at 3pm so we could minister to them and invite them to SHE ministries. After planning, organizing, and arriving on time – we were all pumped for this afternoon out with the girls. After an hour and a half of waiting for the girls to show up, we realized our lunch date was not happening. Needless to say KK, Evan and I were bummed. We were so excited to get to share this afternoon with the girls and it wasn’t happening. Sigh…
So what does any competent person do when their plans have failed…they eat their feelings of course. This trio of brokenhearted world racers set up camp in a nearby Pizza Hut, bummed about not being able to minister how we had originally planned. Although eating a Pizza Hut thin n’ crispy cheese pizza after being 9 months out on the race temporarily put me in an apathetic comatose, it wasn’t enough to stop my heart from wanting to still do something for the Lord that day. As I was seeing the world through empty Pepsi glasses and pizza crust, I noticed a couple of young guys sitting in a booth adjacent from our Debbie downer party. Nike tennis shoes, plaid shorts, shaved faces, and high and tight haircuts revealed their identity – they were in the US armed forces.
Just a few days before, three American ships docked in Patong City, Thailand carrying hundreds of US sailors and Marines. As if ministering in the red-light district of Patong City wasn’t hard enough – it was even more difficult with hundreds of our US armed forces roaming about. Many of the sailors and marines were finding it difficult not to fall victim to the sights and sounds of the red-light district.
My heart actually hurt for them. Young sailors who looked like they had just graduated middle school were stepping into a place that had become known as the Devil’s Playground. Like a moth to a flame, the alcohol, strip clubs and prostitutes seduced these sailors into uncharted and sinful territories. With the bars dawning “Welcome US Navyâ€� signs – some our bravest and finest were dropping one by one into the very hands of an enemy that was more cunning than anyone they had ever met – Satan himself.
As I watched these two young sailors devour their pizzas quicker than a bullfrog in a room full of horse flies, I couldn’t help but be drawn to them. They had been stuck on a ship for nearly four months and the minute they find freedom to get out and enjoy themselves in beautiful Thailand, Satan ambushes them and takes them hostage behind enemy lines of the alluring red-light district. My heart was tugging at me, telling me “Just go talk to them – see how they‘re doing.â€� I knew God was telling me to get up and walk over, but I certainly didn’t want to. Great, God was wanting me to be “thatâ€� missionary that bothered people while they were eating their dinner in a public restaurant. As I often do when God asks me to do something difficult, I sat there, waited, pouted, and then reluctantly said yes. I asked KK to go with me to talk with the sailors while Evan stayed back and prayed for us.
I don’t know why but I was extremely hesitant and somewhat fearful about approaching these two young sailors.. I didn’t understand – I could go out to the bars night after night and begin conversations with prostitutes, but yet I was too intimidated to begin a conversation with two young lads from America. Story of the Christian life, eh? After I muttered a small prayer under my breath and stumbled out of the booth, I was engaged in full pursuit of plan B for the day – Operation P&P – pizza and preaching. When we got to the table, we introduced ourselves and greeted the sailors with a smile. Surprised that they ran into other Americans, they kindly greeted us and began conversation. Kyle was 21 and from Utah while Russell was 21 and from Iowa. We asked about their trip and about life on the ship and they quickly began talking about their experience. Hilariously enough, we understood much of their story. They said they were tired of always being around people, not having a real bed and shower and the whole time we were nodding and laughing. Who knew that World Racers could empathize with US sailors? We told them we’ve been sleeping anywhere from bus stations to tree houses and anywhere in between – we knew exactly where they were coming from. Kyle actually took a great interest in the World Race asking about our various ministries and projects around the World. He was intrigued about the work we were doing. Kyle and Russell only had another 5 weeks on the boat and were eager to return to the states. Kyle mentioned, however, that he was being stationed in Japan for a year and a half beginning in February and Russell was being stationed in California.
Although our conversation was quick, I felt like I had still accomplished something. I told Kyle and Russell we would be in prayer for them and then we parted ways. I thought I was finished with ministry for the day. I listened to God, followed his instruction, but nope – that wasn’t enough. God was pushing me even further into the path of these two sailors. I really felt a burden on my heart for these guys. Although we had just met, I had a feeling God was working in us – working in them. The first thing I regretted was not paying for their lunch at Pizza Hut. No, a free lunch wouldn’t have brought them salvation, but it would have let them know they were loved and appreciated – something I think they probably haven’t felt in quite some time. KK had felt the Spirit tugging at her to pray for these guys, but she didn’t. Hmmmm, not exactly the success we had thought. Bummer.
So what were we to do now? Kyle and Russell were now lost in the hustle and bustle of crowded Patong City and they were far gone out of our reach. The likelihood of us crossing paths again was slim to none. Although I’m sure this goes against everything Biblical, KK and I made a deal with God. If God allowed our paths to cross with Russell and Kyle again that day then we were going to approach them again and pray for them. We shook spiritual hands with God then walked off. KK, Evan, and myself decided not to go searching for the two young sailors, but rather allow this possible divine appointment to come to us. After walking for nearly hours through the red-light district, we parked ourselves on a fountain just outside of Starbucks to people watch before we went home and, yes, guess who out of nowhere came walking right in front of us…Kyle and Russell.
I begin to clam up as I was reminded of my deal with God – the deal that promised action upon reintroduction with these two sailors. With a lump in my throat, I whispered to KK in a panic that the sailors were approaching. After 2 minutes of discussing what in the world we should do – we made eye contact with Kyle and Russell, nodded, they smiled, and we parted ways. In the remorseful words of Homer Simpson, “DOH!!â€�. Geez! Come on John! Mission NOT accomplished. I had just promised God that I would go up to these guys if I saw them again, but yet when push came to shove I just sat there, mindless on the bench doing nothing. Another opportunity to share God’s word exited our life faster than it had entered.
Maybe you can relate, but I’m a pushover when it comes to evangelism with my own people. Sure I’ve been traveling the world for 11 months telling people about Jesus, but there’s something intimidating, something SCARY about telling someone just like you about Jesus. There’s a since of fear that you’ll be judged, made fun of, looked down upon, and maybe even voted off the island if the “tribeâ€� doesn’t like you. We all have tribes you know. Groups of people in our lives that need the Word of God – that need to hear it from your very own mouth. Jesus told us to “GO! and make disciples”, but the fear of rejection paralyzes us from our true calling. “For the Lord did not give us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, of LOVE, and of SOUND MIND!” 2 Tim 1:7
Who is the tribe in your life…your coworkers? Family? Classmates? You know who they are and you know what…they scare you, just like these two sailors scared me. I didn’t want to be judged, I didn’t want to put myself out there for possible ridicule for the name of Jesus. Who in their right mind wants to be persecuted for their beliefs? For a short moment in time I could easily empathize with Peter. You know, I feel like sometimes that man gets a bad reputation for denying Christ when it‘s something I do on occasion. Sure Peter had an ego the size of Texas and a mouth that fired faster than a machine gun, but we all have our not so proud moments from time to time, do we not? Lucky for us, most of our moments aren’t captured in The Bible for all to see.
So there we sat, defeated and maybe even a little bit ashamed. Part of me wanted to make an excuse of why I didn’t get up and speak to Kyle and Russell while the other part wanted to just tuck my tail and run. Nope, not today. Today was going to be different. Sure I was nervous, and somewhat fearful of their response, but it was fight or flight time and I was ready to flex my spiritual guns. Let’s do this! I grabbed KK as Evan stayed behind to pray and we took off running down the street faster (and less graceful) than two cheetah’s in pursuit of a fleeting gazelle. Seeing how far they were down the road should have discouraged us but it only made our pursuit that much more real. They were not going to get away. No, we made a deal with God (which btw, I don’t recommend ever doing or you’ll find yourself in a situation like the present one) and I was determined on keeping it.
After maneuvering our way through crowded street vendors, tourists, and tuk-tuks and even hurdling the occasional street dog, we finally caught up to the two young sailors and….WAAIITTT!! Ugh, they just stopped at a street vendor. Fearful that they may see us and not want to talk to us right away, KK and I jumped behind one of the merchant tents and hid out. What we were thinking? We were literally stalking these guys – hiding behind tents and peaking around corners like God‘s secret service! When we realized what we were doing we began laughing hysterically. I’m sure God was laughing just as much as we were. He was probably thinking “you know guys, if you had just done what I told you to earlier you wouldn’t have to go through all of this!â€� Hindsight is the greatest, yes?
When Kyle and Russell began walking again we jumped on our chance. I ran up to them and they embraced a smile that seemed to have more of a shock value than welcome.
“Hey guys, ok, don’t think we’re crazy…� I began to explain, “but we really feel like God told us that we needed to pray for you guys. I normally don’t do this kind of thing but for some reason He really put you guys on our heart.�
“Well, I don’t really believe in a Christian God,� replied Russell. “I believe there is a God, just not a specific one. I believe that if you do good things in life then you’ll end up going to good places.�
“No worries,� I said. “I can understand that you may be hesitant, but I can assure you that we’re not going to hit you over the head w/ a Bible or preach a mini sermon to you. I really believe in treating people the way I would want to be treated. No one likes to be preached at. I really just want to pray for you guys if that’s ok.�
“Good�, said Kyle who had been silent and somewhat reluctant to welcome us again. “I don’t really like to be preached at.�
KK and I asked the guys if we could pray for them and they agreed because after all, these two guys, regardless of their religious beliefs, embodied respect. The two young sailors bowed their heads and KK began praying. When she gave an honorable mention towards Kyle who would be stationed in Japan for two years he let out a smile, as I was watching them intently during the prayer. When we finished, Russell came up and hugged us both out of appreciation, something we weren’t quite expecting. Kyle on the other hand, shook our hands, grinned, and said that he too would be praying for us.
As we parted ways, I couldn’t help but to have a heavy heart for Kyle. I knew that Kyle did not like that we approached them for prayer. In the beginning he was very stand offish and his facial expressions were anything but welcoming, but after the prayer something had changed. He said he would be praying for us? What happened? Why the change of heart? Then, out of nowhere, God revealed the answer to me…Kyle had been hurt by the church. I could feel it. I could see it. Something in Kyle was broken or even breaking in that very moment. I knew that somewhere along his journey someone had hurt him, badly. I don’t know what it was, but I could almost feel his pain, his fears and anxieties about what was happening. Although his words were few, the words of his heart were many. Hurt. Damaged. Wounded. Broken. Something that seemed all too familiar to me…
When we found Evan, he of course wanted to hear all about our experience and said that God laid something on his heart to tell us. Evan first asked if we got a read on either one of the guys and I told him that I believed Kyle had been hurt by the church. Evan said that was the exact same thing that God told him – that one of the guys had been hurt by the church! Can you believe it? This only confirmed my suspicion that Kyle was hurting. Deep down inside, wounds had begun to resurface when we approached him. I was shocked, elated, and jumping out of my skin all while the chill bumps on my arm began to rise. God had positioned us in that very place, in that very time to tell his two sons that He loved them – that WE loved them and to let Kyle know that He was there and thinking about him.
I’m not exactly sure why God wanted me, out of all the missionaries in Thailand, to approach these two young sailors. Perhaps it was because I too have been hurt by the church and could empathize with Kyle’s wounds. Being hurt by the church can infect your heart with a terminal illness that ever so slowly begins to shut it down. That’s what it seemed like in Kyle’s case. A heart that was once beating for the very heart of God had been silenced by the blows of the church body. My hope is that Kyle will be at peace with what so many refuse to see: that the church can and probably will hurt you at one point or another along your journey. Just ask any Christian if they’ve been hurt by the church and you’ll receive a chorus of “amens!â€� from wounded and crippled church casualties. The church is an imperfect body made up of imperfect people. Despite the imperfections and obvious limps of the church body, one thing remains clear: the church may be imperfect, but our God is not! Our God is a PERFECT God – PERFECT in word and deed. The messengers may be a little loose brained from time to time (including myself), but our God is not like any one person that you and I know. He’s greater, smarter, holier, more righteous, loving, and caring than any mortal could ever be.
If anything, I hope that’s the message that Kyle walked away with from the streets of Patong City – that yes, people will let him down, he can bet on that – but God will not! God says he will never LEAVE nor FORSAKE us! HALLELUJAH! My prayer for Kyle is a prayer for forgiveness and compassion towards whoever has hurt him within the body because people in the church make mistakes just like everyone else. We as the church are unfortunately not exempt from selfishness, greed, or even bad judgment. We too slip up from time to time. The key is to not place your hope in the creation, aka the church, but rather the Creator! My one desire is that through KK, Evan and Myself, that perhaps Kyle didn’t see the church body, but rather the bridegroom Himself – Jesus. There’s nothing that would mean more to me than to enter the streets of gold after a long and prolific life and see Kyle and Russell standing on the streets saying, “We’ve been looking for you – we wanted to say thank you.â€�
Today was one of my favorite days on the race. The spoiling of my initial plans only revealed that God had his own. He wanted me to play a part of a much bigger story than I could have ever imagined. I must admit – it’s fun being part of God’s Secret Service!
Kyle and Russell, wherever you two young sailors find yourselves drifting at sea, know that you have the prayers of these three World Racers, the readers of this blog, and the love of your Father blowing wind in your sails.
God bless you Kyle and Russell – until we meet again.
