The more I walk with Jesus I begin to understand more about how this life is a constant train, not a one stop place or destination, but each day a continual process of the next into the greater reality of what He has for us. You may ask, what is our destination then? Well we know already, heaven. But so many times I find myself in the school of life wanting to major in things trivial and minor in Jesus and his call; a battle we all face so much as Christians and always will.
The Race has shown me there’s a lot of injustice, needs spiritually of the millions without hearing the gospel and physically in this world can no longer be ignored. Statistics that once seemed overwhelming are now faces, memories, and realities I’ve held, touched, and spoken too. The lack of clean water, the AIDS/HIV epidemic, the lack of basic necessities, human trafficking, communism, genocides, poverty in slums. I’m no Savior, Jesus is, but I am to do my part no matter the cost. And I’m called to share the gospel, but Matthew 25 also cannot be ignored and taken seriously; they come hand in hand. 
God has richly provided since being home with a great community, the opportunity to lead worship at a passionate church as a fill-in, and having the bank job back. My trust in Him has grown so much and during surgery have been able to rest in Him more while still serving.
I ask you carefully read these next few paragraphs and take a deep dive into my mind and heart; because the process of something bigger has begun and I ask you take a part in it with prayer that only God’s voice would be much bigger than anything else.
It was back in Romania on a van heading to a gypsy village that I started to think about how I was broken for the Philippines, and then God said it, “Go back.” Then in Ukraine on a night in a bus ride my mind began to think about what He nudged on me that He said again, “Go back, I will take care of you.” I replied, “Ok God, that’s good and all, but I’m in Romania, let’s wait.”
I’ve grown up with two calls in my life; worship and missions. That might sound very general but I’ve never seen the two as separate and having to see how they form together has been a process. Part of the Race was for me to understand different cultures where my heart was really drawn too, Asia seemed to be that; before the World Race I had been to China twice before. I’ve always had a desire to start a non-profit or some ministry but never knew what. My heart for the world-wide epidemic of human trafficking became clear; Philippines along with Thailand and Cambodia are in the top five around the world. Currently I’m reading my journals and seeing my thoughts and brokenness come alive from there.
Since being home and having some rest the nudges of the Philippines has been very strong and God has been confirming in various ways I could begin to tell you. I’ve been contacted by many here in the States and over there about possibilities for change, ministry, and kingdom impact there. When in Romania God was telling me to go back for a good amount of time, and so that’s what I’ve been praying through asking the Lord to confirm.
In the last few weeks I’ve been in a great deal of prayer, journaling, and in conversations with others like Seth Barnes, the found of AIM & the World Race and Jeff Long, founder of Kids International Ministries in the Philippines of the same heart about what He’s placed in me. There’s a serious consideration of going back there around mid-July to mid-November and to go back and help with the ministry I was with before for a couple of months in Manila. While there I would serve in the many ways of homeless feedings, orphanage ministry, prison ministries, but also would take time to scout out the area of Manila and find out where human trafficking is taking place, develop my own ideas and visions of what could happen in the future. To be able to start a new church in the poverty side of Manila, to build a safe house for people caught in sex slavery, to start another orphanage; to equip worship leaders there, love the orphans and widows, so many things. For another month go join a couple who is already involved in human trafficking for children in another part of Manila, and another part of the Philippines another month. To be a contact for friends, family, churches in the States, and other Christians can be connected too, send teams, and be a part of something big here or there.
If this is not what God wants for me, then I pray that He closes the door on it soon. I pray it’s not that I want Him to want me to go, but it’s Him wanting me to go. Or that if there’s a different ministry path He wants me to take overseas on in the States that it would come to light through God with others. Either way I will be involved with missions.
At the end of it all I hope two things would happen; God would precisely give me a clear understanding that this is where He wants me to be “long term” (whatever that time frame means) and if not He would close the door; not that it would be the end of all, it could be another place and the Philippines is a place I could learn under others how to develop in another culture. And second I would have a real vision to get things going that people there and those here like you could say, “I want to be a part of that and say I helped do this.” Is it scary? Yes. Does it make sense? Yes, when you have the heart of Jesus. Is it risky? No, God is my sure foundation, nothing He calls would be considered risky.
Once after church I had a small conversation about this, in response my friend said, “How awesome would it be if you went there, the thirty or so of us friends, could help you build an orphanage since it’s so cheap to us. We could send people to you, and say that ‘Yes! We actually built an orphanage there.” And I wasn’t serious when I was talking about it, but it can be real, and maybe God is calling me to be one of those to “Go!”.
If the call is go back there or somewhere else, I would begin the process of developing a team possibly through AIM, KIM, or some other way and seeing that vision come alive to reach the least of these. I’ve grown up Southern Baptist and the IMB is a great innovator in missions, you may ask why not them? But they are struggling to send out the missionaries they already have in waiting because of financial reasons and going now would give me the ability to have freedom in developing something from scratch; someone I pray you can trust.
Sometimes I ask God, why there? I cannot control the desires He puts in my heart that I don’t put there. Why not here in America or anywhere else? Why Philippines when it’s 90% Roman Catholic and has some church influence when places like Cambodia, Thailand, and other places have less than 2% Christian presence and tons of temples people are giving their lives to empty statues. Maybe it’s the Philippines that’s allowing me to already have a community there through the KIM ministry and Jeff Long family that we worked with on the Race. It’s the only country I left crying and knew somehow I would go back.
And I consistently tell people I don’t care where the Lord calls; Lexington, Arizona, Rwanda, Moldova, Philippines, South America, or East Kentucky. I’m committed 100%. I want to be committed to His call, no reservations or conditions, and I trust Him even more seeing Him provide. Inside my heart is bursting, and I’m thankful as He has taken care so far.
He may call me in the next month or two to stay here in America and continue leading worship, sending teams (I’ve kept in touch with all contacts from the Race), starting a non-profit here; or may call me to do neither; a desire of mine before the Race, through it, and after it. I only ask for His heart and His will, which I pray is your prayer too.
Last March I learned more of the deep love of God. That when we make decisions in life that we think are His will, and may or may not work out; He is not looking at us in a shameful way. He still loves us, support us, and He is happy that even if it wasn’t His voice, we still took a step of faith in complete trust for Him. The Race was a hard step of faith, but this is even harder.
I ask for your prayers and to please join me in this process that’s begun a long time ago and now I want to ask you to join, however many of you that you would pray along with me this month of March and on. We are a body, we cannot do it alone. I feel like March is going to be a month of major discernment. I’m not asking for financial support, I’m asking for your prayers. March was my ministry month in the Philippines last year.
If the Lord does call me to go there for that time frame, I plan to fund my own way there. If I do not feel as if I should ask for support from incredible generous people who are committed to the kingdom without a vision yet; so pray that if He calls then He will provide; though if you felt led to give I wouldn’t deny since I would still be doing a lot of kingdom ministry like the Race. And at the end of the year as I develop it, then let’s be Jesus then as we are now.
Do I take the Red Letters of the Bible literally? Or do I just say an “Amen” and move on.
In the words of a friend, “Sometimes you need to put the toe in the water to find out.”
There’s even a current ministry idea God’s put in my heart for the next couple of months while this long term process works itself out to reach those who hunger around the world. There’s an opportunity to help people who have dreams, desires, and passions for the Kingdom of God in whatever way to become a reality as mine plays out too. Soon I’ll start sending out resumes and see what lands, but deep down I think it’s already moving. There’s a chance to empower a community in a serious time of transition here in Lexington through worship and pastoring. My heart is torn inside, my mind is tired, my body is rested, and God is faithful.
Will you join me in prayer? Will you join me in seeing God’s voice become more loud and that if this vision happens to reach the least of these that you would hop on this train and roll with it until we reach our final destination. And once we’re there, to see the faces of many who you and I have impacted for the kingdom because of the step of faith we took against all other voices.
If you ever want to talk, be encouraged or discuss this vision and heart feel free to contact me. Maybe you have the same desire or want to be a part of it; let’s talk and for everyone I ask for your prayers in the next few months as this works itself out.
