balance. The tension between too much and too little. The fine line between
helpful and unhealthy. There are times where I feel like the fight for balance
drives me crazy. Sometimes I feel stuck, too uncertain, too unaware, too
unbalanced to know the proper move.
The World Race forces you to deal with balancing issues. We
have to honor different cultures while walking in freedom. We juggle between
comfort and challenge. We have to decide the adequate amount of time to sit in
our messes and when to move forward. I miss home but am called to be here.
There is love in this darkness; how much do I weigh the scales of fighting
darkness and celebrating love?
We are currently on a train from Romania to Ukraine.
Stepping out of one ministry and in to another. Old wounds are scabbing as
fresh cuts are bleeding. I want to be practical and disciplined about being a
better man, and I want to love God better. But which is the cart and which is
the horse?
When do I proclaim the Presence of Christ and when do I be
still and know that He is God? Which moment is Sabbath and which is Pentecost?
The tendency is to be pretty casual about addressing balance
in Christian faith. We shrug it off and head out for something we can better
wrap our minds around – like our favorite restaurant or a television. We escape
in to apathy. Casual may be slow-acting, but it is the deadliest of poisons.
There is a lack of depth in the Christian faith because we
are too casual about balance. Too stubborn to be pulled in any uncomfortable
directions. Too afraid to ask questions and ponder answers.
Good balance is hard. This year around the world is teaching
me that I need better balance. And as difficult as that endeavor is, there is
wisdom and freedom in honest searching and desperate longing. Because we all
really just want to love God better.
Balance pulls sacrifice out of you and pushes freedom into
you. The sacrifice hurts and smells a lot like losing sometimes. But proper and
appropriate balance ushers in freedom to worship, love, and serve Christ. And
to do so without the walls of approval-addiction, uncertainty, fear, or pride.
A pure obedience.
So I am taking the imperfect juggling act called “my life” to
Ukraine this month. I will be writing a blog soon about our ministry and living
conditions. Love to you all!!
