We are halfway through our third month of squad leading and it has been an incredibly challenging month. Our plans have gotten derailed three times this month and we are only two weeks in! The first was just a scheduling change, no big deal. The second was because a team was experiencing some crazy spiritual warfare, complete with a witch-doctor and curses, and we were asked to come and be with the team and try to help in any way we can (the Lord did some incredible signs in the two days we were there, but that is a story for another time).
The third was the hardest. Kylie and I were traveling to a city called Roatan to meet with Jacie and plan some things for the next couple months. On our way, we had to pass through San Pedro Sula, the murder capital of the world, the perennial number one on any list concerning the most dangerous cities in the world. Although we were just passing through, I felt a bit nervous to just have the two of us in a bus station. There were a bunch of guards at the station and they were each armed with some heavy fire-power, looking ready for a war, the war they fight everyday. I was relieved to get on the bus for Roatan.
But, an hour later, we got a call that one from our squad was in the hospital in San Pedro Sula (bacterial infection) and was admitted overnight, which means a squad leader had to go and stay with him. (we have a team right outside of San Pedro who aren’t allowed to leave the pastor’s house without an escort).
So, a couple hours later, I was alone (Kylie stayed to meet Jacie) on my way back into the murder capital of the world. The heart of darkness.
I don’t feel afraid very often. Even with the witch doctor in Santa Barbara a week ago, I felt very peaceful knowing that God is in control. But I felt afraid on that bus. And I felt ashamed I was afraid. On that long, solitary bus ride into the city our team isn’t allowed to be in as a group without an escort, I prayed a lot. There was nothing else I could do.
An incredible thing happened. The Lord granted me peace. By the time my bus was rolling into the most dangerous city in the world, the sun was setting over the mountains. It was beautiful! Beyond beautiful. There were people out on the street. Children laughing, life being lived. And the Lord reminded me that fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And so is love.
I made it safety in and through San Pedro Sula. Derik was released from the hospital early and I didn’t have to spend the night in a foreign hospital room. Derik is back to his normal, joyful self.
The next morning, I got to go to the children’s ministry with Derik’s team and the pastor. There was an extraordinary amount of joy and community. They have church every night of the week.
The Lord is reminding me that He is sending us out to be a light in the darkness. And that even when darkness is prevalent, it does not reign. It is so challenging and so difficult to be in these uncomfortable and dangerous situations. But the truth is that all of life is uncomfortable and dangerous. At least this has a purpose. The Lord reminds me that, even in the heart of darkness, the True Light shines. I am humbled and thankful for this journey. It has been messy for me the last couple of weeks. It hasn’t been easy. But I wouldn’t change the days of encountering witchdoctors and busing meekly into the murder capital of the world (twice in a day!) for anything else.
This journey is teaching me so much about dependency on the Lord and how much I need Him. It is also exposing the myth of darkness by putting me face to face with it. The darkness is real and it is devastating. But it is not a stronghold, indeed it is already defeated. Darkness is a scurrying cockroach. It is not a home. It is alien, a virus. But it is not the reality. It is not the truth.
I am exhausted and overjoyed at the invitation to see the Lord’s victories in the heart of darkness.
