A Man

We have been in Latacunga for almost a week. Besides my
teammate Michael, I have only seen one (ONE) male around the orphanage. And he
is the handy man that works on the building and rarely interacts with the kids.

It is a tragedy. There are so many women here (the kids call
them all “tia” which means aunt) who love these kids with such grace and
adoration. Where are all the men? When did my gender become the callous one
that doesn’t give a crap? Why are we so absent in the things that matter most?

On our orientation the first day here, our contact Jennifer told
Michael and I that we would have the unique chance to be men, loving men, to
these kids. To wrestle with these boys, giving them the space to be boys; to
have a strong, yet caring, male influence to observe. To show them that a man
is capable of more than abusing, neglecting, or abandoning them.

We need to stop hiding behind the excuses of being “bread
winners,” “having to work,” “that isn’t our role,” “allowing children to find
their own way,” etc. etc.

It is time to be a man. A man isn’t muscles and confidence.
He is vulnerability, truth, and love. A man is not someone who has more
important things to do than love kids, because The Man set the path by shaming
his disciples’ concerns for “more important” work and proclaiming, “Let the
little children come to me!” When did the parameters for “being a man” drift so
far away from the example of Jesus Christ on earth?

I am so honored and blessed to be here with Michael, a great
man, serving these absolutely beautiful children. I have been able to rough
house with the boys (and some of the girls), but also to pray and read with them, to
help them get ready for bed, to take them to the doctor, to hold their hand
crossing the street, to hug them, and to throw them gleefully into the air, to feed them. To share ALL facets of life with them, showing them (and even telling them!) how wonderful I think they are and how valuable and worthwhile their existence truly is.

But we are leaving in a couple weeks. The best we can give
these kids is still just a microcosm of what they need. And not just these 21
orphans in Ecuador. Our world is full of children, full of women, full of other
men, who desperately need this gender to get our act together. To stop playing
the games. Stop collecting affections like merit badges. Stop ignoring hearts
and souls because of an embarrassingly archaic cultural stereotype. It is time
for us to lay aside false strength for true power, false bravado for honest
intimacy, ladder climbing for soul searching, hurt for healing, and lust for
love.

Missing you all! Talked today about youth skits (Lifehouse’s
Everything and others), the fact that I know Will Smith (and his awesome wife),
my soul tie with my brother, and looked at scarfs at the market for Eleanor.