“Father, I don’t know where to start. I know the physical danger is far more minimal than it feels. But the world seems to be screeching to a halt because of the ‘minimal danger’ and I just don’t know what to make of that. I am upset and it’s weighing on me.
(considering)
“In reality the biggest difference in my physical life is the absence of basketball on my TV for the next month, yet my heart aches seeing the way it’s affecting life. It’s not just delayed entertainment, what hurts is the forced change. It was abrupt and, at least for a little while, it seems like all of society is going to be different. I am seeing my friends forced out of the path they were on, or even getting blocked from starting the one they spent so long working towards. This version of society feels powerless, reactionary, and so fearful. Father, it hurts and I don’t know what to make of it.”
(centering)
“Father, this is my way of bringing you my hurt and the hurt of the world around me. What do you have to say, what is your response?!”
(release)
(pause)
“I am The Response”
(silence)
(uncertainty)
(waiting)
“Well God, that sounds like nothing is changing. For some reason it doesn’t feel like I can trust you unless something changes, unless you do something…”
(reflection)
(realization)
(understanding)
“Father… you have been in the process of bringing humanity back to you since the moment we were separated. For as long as the world has been broken, you have been a God who is redeeming it. At its essence, this version of brokenness and hurt is just the same as it has always been; therefore, the solution to it is also the same as it has always been, the only difference is the collectiveness and attention to all the pain…
So I said all of that but I admit, it doesn’t make me better.”
(sigh)
“I guess my confession is I’m not seeking you, or even trying to trust you right now. My primary reaction to all the hurt is to just want the pain to stop. I want a solution and a resolution, and I want it to be easy. And I feel somewhat justified in this desire because you are characterized as someone who heals all and who does it instantly and abundantly.”
(recentering)
“At the truth of it, I know that I don’t want to just come to you as a solution to pain. If a relationship is real, then it isn’t based on a give-and-take, its based on the heart. I also know that true relationship with you is the fruit of a world that has been put back together. This is all to say that my reaction to the pain wasn’t ideal, but on the other side of it, it also isn’t something to be ashamed of. My hearts reaction to the hurt is reflective of Jesus’ heart in Gethsemane. But Jesus picked Himself up, and He carried His cross anyway.”
(resolving)
“So Jesus, what is mine to carry in all this?”
(laying down)
“Faith”
(surrender)
(completion)
–
So this was a summary of a quiet time I had about the state of our society in the midst of coronavirus, but I think it applies just as directly to our response to pain and hurt even in the small moments of our everyday. I hoped to write in a way where you could feel your way through the conversation.
In this current state of society (and in every state), we are called to be people of faith. Yes, this comes from having hearts that know a trustworthy God, but it means that we are people who live like we know our God is trustworthy and in control. We bring kingdom to this world by the way we show up to it. Our actions should be what ensures everyone around us that God is still good, even if our comfort, safety, or well-being is a little bit shakier than it was the day before. Faith wouldn’t be faith if it didn’t involve us trusting God, especially when we have less reason to, and we wouldn’t be people of faith if we didn’t choose to act like it.
I’m praying good health, blessings, and strength for all of you.
Thanks for reading.
