A lot of times I think of vulnerability like I think of eating healthy. It’s something I know is good and I ought to do more of, but it’s more of an obligation and I only end up doing it every once in a while.
I wrote a blog a couple months ago called Mask Off (https://joetakayoshi.theworldrace.org/post/mask-off). The idea behind it was to list some truths about me and my experience on the race that I most likely wouldn’t have shared otherwise. It was inspired by a teaching about how we often live our lives with disillusionment that we don’t even know about. We don’t know what we don’t know so we can’t help ourselves out of those lies and into truth. In order to get to where we’re going we have to know where we are. Writing that blog forced me to be honest with myself and forced me to ask myself questions I wouldn’t have otherwise.
This past week was officially the midpoint of our race. We are halfway done, and still have another half to go. I wanted to write a blog about what the first half of the race was like for me, the ways I’ve grown, and the experiences I’ve had. I also wanted to write a blog about what I’m expecting from the second half of the race, what I’m afraid of, what I’m looking forward to, and how I’m feeling about it. I ended up deciding to do all those things in the same blog and use the format of the first “Mask Off” blog that I wrote.
So here it is, a list of good, bad, happy, or sad truths about where I am at right now:
- Honestly, it’s kinda hard to believe that we are only halfway through the race. I definitely do not want the race to be over and I do not think it’s been dragging on, but when I think of all the experiences I have had on the race it is hard to believe that this is only the halfway point. It is crazy to think we have the same amount of experiences ahead of us as we do behind us.
- Thinking about the end of the race used to terrify me. Now I get excited thinking about how I can bring all of the ways I have grown home with me.
- Speaking of coming home… I have some news. I am no longer planning to go to Purdue in the fall. In fact, I no longer have plans to go to college in general. That doesn’t mean that I won’t eventually, I just don’t plan to right now. Nothing is set in stone, but right now I am thinking about doing another program through Adventures in Missions called Center for Global Action.
- The Patriots play in the Super Bowl coming up. The game starts here in Myanmar at 6 AM on Monday. Everyone who knows me knows I love the Patriots a lot, sometimes too much. Some of the most mentally unhealthy times in life came from Patriots playoff games. No matter the outcome, I know that won’t be the case when we watch on Monday. I still desperately hope they win though. Also please pray that we actually get to watch the game in its entirety without problem.
- There is a KFC around the corner from where we’re staying right now. They have meals for around the equivalent of $2.50. I have really enjoyed that.
- The past 3 weeks have been the most challenging of my race so far. It’s a result of multiple things, none of which were inherently bad but they were certainly difficult. This has forced me to rely on the foundations of my faith built up over the first half of the race. It has been challenging, but I think it’s been healthy for me. It made me more confident in my foundations.
- Over the past 3 weeks, 4 people from our squad have gone home. Honestly it’s a sad thing. I’ve been learning to better acknowledge and process my emotions. Sadness isn’t bad, but it still kinda sucks.
- So much of my team’s everyday schedule in Myanmar is on us. We don’t have a lot of scheduled ministry, we don’t have base staff pouring into us, and we don’t have much structure at all. This has been difficult, but it’s forcing me to take ownership over all those aspects of my life. I see it as preparing me for life after the race.
- I haven’t cut my hair on the race yet. I’m thinking about not cutting it at all. Comment your thoughts on this I’m (somewhat) open to suggestion!
- I have been temporarily giving up things like social media that distract me from intimacy with God. It’s been really helpful for those moments that I want to sit and turn my brain off because I’ve been forced to choose intimacy in those moments.
- I have really missed watching basketball. Go ‘Cers and Boiler Up!
- My favorite part of Asia is by far the food. Honestly I do not like the culture nearly as much as I thought I would.
- I have tried to be more intentional with the way that I post on social media. I have done ok with that. I’m not self-conscious about it, but I wanna make sure I’m using it for the right reasons. I can definitely work on that.
- It hasn’t even been two months, but I already have a lot of nostalgia for our time in Guatemala.
- I feel like I have not done nearly enough ministry in Myanmar. That’s on me and I know I can be more intentional about that. It’s also taught me to do life as if everything could be ministry.
- Since leaving for the race I’ve already seen 5 movies in theaters. That’s more than I thought I would so I’m happy.
- We are supposed to blog once a week on the race. I definitely did not honor that responsibility the first half of the race. I hope to do better going forward.
- I have been thinking a lot about what I wanna be like when I get home. A lot of those thoughts are about how I want to share my experience with everyone. I know that in the past I have had ulterior motives when I tried to share about my experiences. Going forward I need to make sure that the purpose behind interaction is nothing other than loving them.
- I am so thankful for my team. I was hopeful for the community of the race when I signed up, but it’s a lot better than I expected. I got 7 lifelong friends from my team.
- Starting the race I never would have thought of myself as a leader. Now I’ve been a team leader for almost 2 months. I am comfortable with the role.
- I am still at the point where I genuinely love the race and how it has impacted me. My faith is deeper and more intimate than it ever has been before. Even though some of the luster has come off of the idea of the race, I am still so stoked for the second half of the race. The difference is now I’m excited for after it too.
