Oh man! How do I begin? How do I begin to share about these 10 days known as World Race Training Camp? June 4th through the 14th was a period of the hard and the holy, the sad and the sacred. God dismantled walls I had built, and shined His light into my life. Sometimes I felt depleted, but was then infused with His power. There were moments where I had nothing but tears to offer, but He turned them to joy.
Training camp was good. It was so, so good. We ate a variety of cultural foods, received strong teaching about God’s call for His people to do mission work, were trained in showing honor and love to people groups from different backgrounds, and participated in practical field scenarios for managing challenges abroad (including bucket showers, ask me about the bucket showers). But what moved me the most during training camp was the work God did in my heart. It started with the first worship session where I was shaking off the accusations and lies from the enemy that made me feel like I did not belong, then progressed to God gently revealing wounds that needed to be exposed so I can admit to pain I have ignored for YEARS. Wounds that have led to me missing out on resting in the great LOVE of our Father.
Gosh, God LOVES me. He cherishes me, knows me, sees me, and holds me. These things that I have had head knowledge about, but have struggled to rest in. During our second worship session, several people spoke into my life about God’s love for me (Christianity 101, I know), and my attempts to sing worship music with poise were undone. Tears, so many tears. I felt physically heavy with the weight of the words about God’s Love, and I knew that he was revealing Himself to me in a new way. For the rest of training camp, the words from Psalm 139:17 looped in my head.
“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They cannot be numbered”
For years, I have wrestled with trusting others and maintaining an overly guarded heart. I have been emotionally straight-arming people as an attempt to self-protect. Little did I know, my distrust of others bled into my view of God, and caused me to block or stiffen when His arms were around me. During these 10 days of training camp, I finally had enough space to allow Jesus in to fill me up and start to heal these emotional hurts. He also began using this group of beautiful believers around me, image bearers of God and containers of Holy Spirit as instruments of His Love, grace and mercy. But in order to have these revelations, I had to say, “Yes!”.
I finally had a “Yes!” in my spirit to acknowledge where I was hurting, expose it, be edified by others, and allow God to heal it.
I had many opportunities to practice a “Yes!” in my spirit (thanks to the training and the language from Karen Dilbeck). And the list of “Yes!” goes on:
– Eating a roasted cricket and a “hundred-year old” egg (Yea, I did that!)
– Evangelizing in the park
– Leading worship
– Doing the extra burpees to help other squads during challenges
– Obeying the prompting of the Holy Spirit the moment He told me to do something that makes me feel awkward and out of place
– Vulnerably sharing my story with my squadmates and teammates.
Oh Lord!
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. (Psalm 51:12)
Lord, would you put a “Yes” in my spirit to all of that you have called me to? To growing in community? To living missionally? To greater intimacy with You?
Thank you for praying for me and supporting me with your gifts and donations! The World Race is more than a mission trip. This is an opportunity to join in on the work God is already doing through the 10/40 Window, and to be further stretched and developed as a disciple of Christ. Thank you for your heart and generosity. Your support is the road to bring me there!
Fundraising Goals:
$5,000 by May – MET (Whoop Whoop!!)
$10,000 by July
$13,000 by September
$18,700 by November
Current amount raised and processed: $8,699
