Wet. Scrape. Wet. Squeegee. Wipe. Move ladder. Repeat.
This is how I’ve been spending my days lately. I’m working as a technician with Window Genie, which means a lot of driving in a lighting purple van (the “geniemobile”), working outside in the lovely winter weather here in Colorado, listening to approximately 351,097,934 hours of podcasts, and a whole lot of time staring at my reflection in exceptionally shiny panes of glass.
And I absolutely love what I’m doing.
Though blue collar work is the last thing I ever expected to be doing the 8 months between my graduation and the Race, our Father once again knew exactly what he was doing when he blessed me with this job. If you had asked me a few months ago, I would have told you that something like window washing was about the last thing I would ever want to do for work; and yet, I find myself loving this time more and more.
The longer I spend at this job, I realize that there is something strangely, intensely intimate and spiritual about window washing. People let me into their homes, into the spaces they’ve created, and I do what I can to beautify, to perfect, and to polish that space—to make it feel pleasant and warm, like home. And I’ve been realizing that in a peculiar way, window washing is the Gospel.
Isn’t this exactly what Jesus does in us? God sees that the spaces we’ve created in our hearts are dark and dirty, mucked up and smudged with our fear and anxiety and all the ways we fail every day. Not only are our inner lives disgusting and filled with all sorts of darkness, but this darkness keeps us from seeing outside of ourselves. Just as a dirty window obscures a beautiful view, so our brokenness keeps us from seeing those outside of ourselves for who they are—and worse, from seeing the Father in all his tenderness, beauty, holiness, and abundant, lavish love.
The darkness in our hearts has caked our view of God with every sort of doubt, fear, insecurity, and hopelessness that we feel, such that we are no longer able to believe in a God who could love us in all our brokenness. Instead, we see the blurry figure of a god who can only rain down judgement, who is absent and angry and the worthy object of our fear. When we see this false god, it is no wonder that we follow the echo the cry of Adam: “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself” (Genesis 3:10). And what’s worse, we have grown so accustomed to this view that we don’t even realize it is distorted and false.
We have come to prefer the dark within our own hearts to the terrifying and cold light of this god we see, whose only possible response to our brokenness is damnation. Yet the reality of the true God is far removed from the blurred, distorted figure we make out through our slimy windows. The God of love, of relationship—the community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—does not forget us or angrily turn away because of our sin. He instead recognizes that the spaces we have built within ourselves are so broken that we cannot come out of ourselves into his beautiful daylight. And so his response is extravagant, lavish, and sacrificial—rather than waiting for us to come to him, God comes to us in Jesus Christ.
When we do the unthinkable and open our hearts, with all their gunk and grime, and allow God to come into us in the person of his Son, what we find is not condemnation or despair. Jesus offers no disgusted look, does not bother to say “gosh, have you ever bothered to clean up in here?” Instead, he embraces us, and then gets to work. As a human, the Son entered directly into our brokenness, into the fully distorted view of ourselves, others, and his Father we experienced—and immediately began to scrape away the dirt from our glassy view, wipe the grime from our hearts, and restore a true view of his Father as only he knows how to. Jesus Christ—Window Genie Savior—is the only one who can give us a true view of the God of love, and all he asks is that we open up the spaces within ourselves, dirty as they are, to the One who loves perfectly, whose only response to our brokenness is to grant us restoration in him.
The Father has given me the greatest gift I could ever ask for in this job, because I am reminded of what is coming. With every window I clean, I am able to remember the Race and why I’m going. There are so many who don’t know this God of love, who have windows in their hearts that are so covered in the grime of their sin that they could never dream of forgiveness or change. Every day, people die without ever learning that the grime of their hearts can be removed, and the hell they’ve lived in on earth continues after death. And I have the marvelous chance to go with Jesus Christ into those spaces, to enter into these broken dirty spaces, and allow God to reveal the most beautiful view of his abundant love.
I could never do this without you—I need you to help, support, and go with me in the spirit of prayer. Thank you SO MUCH to all who pray for me, have supported me financially, or even just read my pithy ramblings from time to time. Please pray for me, subscribe to this blog, and consider clicking the “Donate!” button at the top of this page. I think of you all often and am so encouraged by your support!
Father, continue to wipe away the grime that keeps us from seeing you. Give us the grace of peace, that we would have no fear of opening our hearts to your Son Jesus Christ, trusting in you perfect and unfailing love. Grant us each day a clearer view of your heart. Amen.
