I honestly don’t know how to fully receive that love right now, Summer. Because you are sharing some of the deepest love I’ve ever experienced. And that love can only come from Christ. I’ve never cried so much in my life these past few days because I’m realizing for the first time how vivid and real true love really is. My face has been drenched on buses and sidewalks and in the airport because I don’t want to lose you. It hurts so much because I feel like in a second, God could tear that love away from me. But I’m wrong.
Summer; I’m beginning to see that your love is not your own. Your love is the love of Jesus. And nothing can take His love for me. I’ve heard about your love, Jesus. I’ve seen it talked about in the Bible. But I always wondered what that love looked like. Summer; I know what that love looks like because Jesus is living in you.
I never understood why Paul wanted to leave for heaven. In Philippians 1:22,23 he says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.” Why would I want to leave those that I love for Jesus? It never made sense to me, yet always haunted me. There had to be a real reason, something within Paul that drove him to speak those words. He wasn’t lying, wasn’t exaggerating. There was a longing, a love within Him that was so strong and REAL that he said he wanted to go and be with the one whom he loved the most. Christ’s love drove Paul to love nations of people. Paul’s love for nations wasn’t his own, it was Christ’s. But only because he felt the unconditional living tenderness, living friendship of someone within him always caring for his heart.
Tonight I experienced something I’ve never experienced before. I felt like my heart suddenly shifted. I feel Jesus moving around in my heart. He wants me to feel what it’s like for Him to be my best friend, just as real, just as alive as Summer. Summer; you are showing me who Jesus is.
