One of our well-protected doors in our Uganda home
Our briefing before leaving for Uganda included a little history of this war-torn nation. Until recently, many of these people have lived in fear and have been driven out of their homelands. Peace here seems to be fragile, especially in the north towards Gulu. And Rwanda, a nation where hundreds of thousands were slaughtered in racial hate, borders Uganda just to the southwest. Africa has been a place where the spirit of violence and fear rules.
As we arrived our first night here in Uganda to our home for three weeks of brick, bars, and steel our contacts found for us in attempt to keep us safe, I felt an incredible burden to pray and worship. I feel so often that we construct physical barriers or even barriers in our hearts to protect us. Yet we hardly realize how unsafe we really are when we trust in bars, insurance policies, laws, or even guns far more than we trust in God.
This is kinda long, but I’ve loved reading the
Ragamuffin Gospel lately. The following section from page 147 and 148 reads,“While we profess our faith in God’s unconditional love, many of us still live in fear, Nouwen remarks:
Look at the many “if” questions we raise: What am I going to do if I do not find a spouse, a benefactor? What am I going to do if they fire me, if I get sick, if an accident happens, if I lose my friends, if my marriage does not work out, if a war breaks out? What if tomorrow the weather is bad, the buses are on strike, or an earthquake happens? What if someone steals my money, breaks into my house, rapes my daughter, or kills me?
Once these questions guide or lives, we take out a second mortgage in the house of fear.
Jesus says simply, “Remain in me, as I in you” (John 15:4). Home is not a heavenly mansion in the after life but a safe place right in the midst of our anxious world. “Anyone who loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we shall come to him and make a home in him.” (John 14:23)
Home is that sacred place – external or internal – where we don’t have to be afraid; where we are confident of hospitality and love. In our society we have many homeless people sleeping not only on the streets, in shelters or in welfare hotels, but vagabonds who are in flight, who never come home to themselves. They seek a safe place through alcohol or drugs or security in success, competence, friends, pleasure, notoriety, knowledge, or even a little religion. They have become strangers to themselves, people who have an address but are never at home, who never hear the voice of love or experience the freedom of God’s children. To those of us in flight, who are afraid to turn ardound lest we run into ourselves, Jesus says, You have a home. I am your home. Claim me as your home. It is right where you are, in your innermost being. In your heart.
I feel that God has given me a desire for adventure and love. And that some of the things he may invite me into may be far from what we consider safe. Far from the walls we like to construct around ourselves. And yet I’m beginning to see that I can feel completely safe in His love no matter where God takes me. Walls only cage my heart in death. But when God protects and flows through me, I have life and I can take life where danger exists. Far from the protection of laws and rights, far from the safety of friends, and even into places extremely hostile to the love of God. I don’t have to worry about sickness, accidents, not being within 20 miles of a hospital, or near the security of a vehicle or cell phone. Not because “bad” stuff doesn’t happen, but I know that my Father loves me and cares about me more than I or anyone else ever can. It is that security, that knowledge that enables me to reach far beyond what I believe I’m capable of wherever God wants me. He can allow me to pass through borders when it seems impossible, blind eyes and minds that attempt to destroy His message from reaching all that He loves. He can break down the spiritual barriers that prevent Muslims or even people that call themselves Christians but don’t know Him from accepting His incredible love. His understanding is far more ingenious than our encryption, our technology, or even our great schemes and plans.
