Dangerous Lovers

I think we often live a reckless life ignoring the parts of reality we don’t want to face. Especially in Western Society, we strive to cheat death and pain. And in doing so, I think we often choose to ignore loving and learning from those who are older and hurting around us.

This morning, we were waiting to move Dave Hearn’s family here at G42 into his new home. I sat on a wall that looked over the Mediterranean, watching people walking up and down the cobblestone streets. The dichotomy amazed me as nice, tidy, cars would fly by through the narrow labyrinth with seeming purpose. And then minutes of quietness would pass when I could focus on details that I might often overlook.

One lady was cleaning as she chatted in Spanish to an old woman waiting standing at her door and occasionally strolling back and forth up and down the street. The old woman seemed lonely, and I began to think about what her life looked like perhaps 30 years earlier. Her skin was rough and sun-damaged. I wondered if she had spent months tanning on the beach, longing to know that she was beautiful, striving to be affirmed by men. An older couple then slowly strolled by; their faces held little more than a frown as they seemed to be wandering with little purpose.

After a unloading a van full of boxes, I rested for a few minutes, seeing myself in their shoes. I have my strength, I have purpose, I have future. But how will I live that future? I can no longer overlook that I too will age, I too will leave this earth.

I want to ENJOY this life, but I don’t want to hang onto it. I want to fully live in confidence, joy, full of life, experiencing every bit of love God has for me. I want to give all of His love back to everyone God places in my path. I would rather live 10 years of passion, love, life and joy than 40 years focused on desperately trying to preserve the diminishing threads of beauty in this life.

Somehow I see incredible beauty in living fearlessly, full of love no matter where God places me and my family. I am immortal and eternal; I can’t be killed. But most likely one day my body will die. Do I want to strive preserving my fragile security that will fade in this life? Or will I let Jesus fully live within me, giving up fear and replacing restlessness with His love, peace, and rest. If I fear, I’m only taking from others. But if Christ’s love is flowing though me, I can entrust my life, my wife, and my family into His care. And then the irony of it all is that only then am I truly able to provide and love my family.