I wrote this as I was sitting on the plane heading to training camp:
I’m sitting at my gate and I can’t get my mind to sit still. It’s racing so fast I don’t even know what I’m thinking. But writing is giving me a chance to slow down for a sec. I feel like my heart is pounding in my throat. My stomach is all twisted up. It is finally here. The first step in this ridiculous journey is 2 hours away. I mean this is the thing I have been talking, praying, and thinking about for the last 8 months. It is actually real. It’s finally hitting me that I am doing this and I don’t feel at all ready. I need to calm down it’s just training camp. But what’s that even mean?
I have no idea what to expect for training camp. I wonder if it will get me stoked for the WR? Or will it just freak me out about how on fire all the other people are? Are my squadmates going to be weird? Am I going to be weird? How real and genuine will people truly be? What will I learn? How much is this going to affect me? Or will I just be getting information on the world race and being a missionary. I feel like I’m at a balanced place with God right now. Not low or high just there. But I worry that this week is going to make me uncomfortable in ways I don’t want to be. That I’m going to think people are being to “Christian”. Whatever that means. I want to experience God in new ways. I think I’m going open minded. I really am. I fear I am not going to connect with anyone. I’m scared I’m going to be different than everyone else. I could see my age being a divider for a lot of people.
If I had to say one sentence what I think training camp will be like it would be this:
I imagine training camp will be a week of learning about my team and learning about the places we are going.
Looking back on how I felt and what really happened just leaves me in awe. Look forward to sharing with you what God did at training camp!
peace friends
Joe
