‘Worship’?
Define: An act of showing your LOVE toward God.
Am I doing what God wants from me?
So many question and not enough answers……..
I am different……..
Why do I look at the 56 other people in my life wondering why I don’t have the same connection as they do? Do I want to have the same? Am I living my life wrong? What do I need to change? Do I need to change? Should I feel different in the way I ‘worship’? How can I overcome this situation? I can overcome this situation by pursueing what God has for me. All I can do is get real with God and ask for that personal relationship that I want. There was a time in my life where I did ‘worship’ like that, what happened to that passion? I want to have a passion that I used to have. God please give that passion back into my life. Give me the ability to LOVE everyone for who they are and not for what they do. I don’t want to see what they do but who they are down deep.
A struggle that I have been dealing with how should I ‘worship’. To me it seems like many people think that I am dealing with something but what if I was really ‘worshiping’ God with my whole heart. Why is there an expectation on ‘worship’? I have heard people say ‘worship’ how ever you want', on and off the race. But is that really what they think or do they want you to ‘worship’ the way that they want you to. Do you have to have an outward show of emotion when you ‘worship’? I don’t think that we always have to have an outward show of emotion every single time that we are ‘worshiping’.
Why is this thought on my heart of ‘worship’? Is the thought of ‘worship’ on my mind because God is trying to show me something? Why do I have such a problem with the act of it? I think I have the problem with the act of ‘worship’ because I feel like if you don’t have an outward experience in ‘worship’ there is not a place for you in leadership. This might not be the fact but I feel that way. Where should I start to find answers for these questions? Do I need to look at the Bible and look at the examples? Is prayer what I need?
Many people think that ‘worship’ is singing. Is that all ‘worship’ is or is it more? I think that all aspect of our lives should be ‘worship’ to God the Father. As I look around and see people ‘worship’, I feel they look at me and think what is wrong with him. They may wondering why I am here on the race. I feel that their thought is that I am not ‘worshiping’ God because I am not doing like they are. When I first started on the race, was my life really showing that I was ‘worshiping’ God? I was not show God that I was loving or ‘worshiping’ Him. Was ‘worship’ time the main reason was I wasn’t showing Him love? Was I caught up on the action and not the act? I was caught up on how people where viewing me. It was becasue I didn’t come from that way of ‘worship’.
I was messing up on my priorities. Most of my life my priotirites have been messed up. I have not had the right priority or motive during my time growing up. I had to go to church, it was not a choice. I was a leader in my youth group, was it because I had to go to church and one of the only on that was in the youth group that also went to church? I bet it was. I didn’t not read my Bible while I was growing up. I know a lot of different Bible stories and other facts about the Bible from different things in my life but I never took it as my own. I am tired of living that way. I need to make a change in my life that I will take my own faith and live it out.
How can one style fit for so many people? Have we had a miss conception of ‘worship’? Is it singing? Reading the Word? Prayer? What is it? In the Bible David did a lot of singing, dancing, and praying. David was a ‘Man after God’s own heart’. Am I willing to do what David did when he was worshiping God? I am not willing to dance naked in the street. It is not that I am ashamed of God but I don’t feel like He is calling me to ‘worship’ that way. But He is calling me to ‘worship’ Him that will be up lifting to His name.
I feel like there is an expectation that you need to raise your hand, dance, do a lot of show. What if we first quite our souls and listen before doing an expectation. How much more would we hear God? How much would God speak to us if we sat there and listen to what he has for us? How often are we first to talk? What if when we ‘worshiped’, just sit there and listen? Not a sound…. There are moments in our lives that we are very busy and our ears have been covered with noise. I know my life has been filled with noise that I have not always been able to hear His voice. I want to be able hear is voice all the time and be in communcation directly with God. What would that look like in my life? Would I be scared to hear what he really wants from me or would I be willing to whatever?
I heard a story of a piano player got up in front of a crowd, they spent some good money on tickets. He went up to the piano, got ready to play, everyone started to clap and was excited to hear him play. Then, he just sat there. He sat there for a while and the crowd didn’t say anything. But after a while the crowd got restless and started talking to each other and got loud. The crowd was wondering what he was doing. So time went past and the piano player got up and bowed. What was the purpose of that? Was it was a waste of money for the crowd or was he letting them make music. Through thinking about this story, I feel that we are the piano player and create a lot of music and people are watching us.
There is another story of a piano player. The piano was on the stage and the crowd where getting settle in. All of a sudden a boy from the crowd was up at the piano getting ready to play. The boy started to play chop-sticks. Then the piano player came out and played along with the boy. After the song was over everybody in the crowd cheered. The piano player bowed with the boy. I know from my life that I get up and “play” the piano and it may sound good but when I have God playing along side me it sounds a whole lot better. In my life I enjoy “playing” by myself. I have failed many times but seems not to turn to God for help. Through my journey on this trip, I have turned more to God when I fail and things have turned out better for me and less time away from God.
What if God is the piano player and we are there to listen to Him? Are we going to just sit there if we do not hear anything? We need to be hear what God has for us. Do we first talk to other and solve our problems? Being able to hear for what God has for us is an essentual. As Christians, why are we so willing to get a distracted from what God has for us?
If God is not talking to us then there is something wrong. We want to hear it loud and clear. He is the best composer out there. Nothing sounds as good as God. When a great composer plays, nobody in the crowd makes a sound. Why don’t we do that? As human we like to solve our own problems and get other people to give us advice. We don’t take the time to just sit and pray to God about our problems. As my time on this trip, I have seen many different times that I have been in a situtation and have not spent anytime with God on the issue.
When Daniel heard that if you pray you will be killed, what is the first thing he did? He went to his room and locked the door and prayed. Did he do this in public or did he lock himself in his room to ‘worship’ his God? What would we do in that situation? I would be scared. I would not go to my room and pray out loud and have faith that I would be safe. My faith is growing and I would like to say that I am like Daniel with my faith. Maybe I should look at Daniel and study why he is such a man of faith.
What about the people that can't walk or sing or get out of bed? Are they an exception because that can't? What if their hearts are dancing around, singing their hearts out, doing the expectation?
When we sing during the day are we singing to God or are we proclaiming something else. As I sit and listen to ‘worship’, am I singing because I know the song or am I really meaning what I am saying. Through out my life I have sung many songs but I really didn’t live out what I was saying. How do we live out ‘worship’ in our lives when we listen to music and sing lyrics that are not up lifting God? When we know songs better than we know ‘worship’ song or scripture, what is that saying to God. When the music we listen to during a daily bases that use the God’s name in vain or talk about ungodly things, how do we differ those songs? Where are those thoughts going? Many people say that those songs don’t bother them or they listen to the beat, I have said that. We say that they don’t bother us but don’t those songs plant a seed in our minds that will grow.
What songs are we singing through out the day? Are they ones that are uplifting? I have seen myself growing up singing songs that are not up lifting God than I do that are up lifting to God. The only time I would sing ‘worship’ song is on Sunday and Wednesday. Is that how we see ‘worship’? Should we be thinking about God all day or do we just turn on those moments everytime we go to church or read the Bible? The thought never came across my mind what those songs really mean. What do they really mean to me? How can I make these songs make a difference in my life? I know what they mean and how I should react to them. But what is stopping me. What does God want from me? Is it to stop listening to stuff that is filling up my mind and listen to His voice? What does that look like?
