So it has been 3 months since I blogged last! You can definitely tell that I am new at this and it falls low on my totem pole of things to get done. haha But nonetheless, God has been doing amazing things in my life, and of course I have been going through some trials. But what I have found is that God is wrecking me and that is exactly where I want to be. HE truly does turn all things into good for me. So I just want to share some of the things I have been going through, not to complain, but to glorify God and how good He is. Sorry it is so long (guess thats what I get for waiting 3 months)!
DECEMBER/JANUARY:
Something that I have had a hard time with since I signed up for the World Race, is fundraising. I know there are other racers out there that feel my pain! At first when I signed up for the World Race, I honestly felt like it was something I was so passionate about and God was just being gracious and letting me go, and not that He was calling me to go. So with the mentality that God was just indulging an excited and possibly selfish daughter, I felt that fundraising was all my responsibility. If I didn’t accomplish it out of my own strength, then it wasn’t going to happen. BUT God is good and greater than my skewed perceptions of myself and HIM. So during the month of December and January, God started to pull the reins back on fundraising, money wasn’t coming in and it seemed most fundraising attempts I made resulted in little support.
To say I was getting bitter is probably an understatement. I found myself resentful at family and friends who didn’t give, or barely gave. (I say barely only because that was my perception at the time, which was wrong. There is no barely, all gifts to God’s calling and kingdom is GREAT) BUT God is good, because He started turning me to Him, and I went to Him out of desperation. And in this place of desperation, God has changed my perception! First because I am His, everything I do is HIS! So this Race is God’s and He is the ultimate provider. But something even greater has happened, I am trusting in God for everything, He is my FOCUS, GOAL and PRIZE! No matter what the outcome is in life, whether I do the race or not or my wishes come to fruition, God is my focus, goal and PRIZE.
Also during this time of seeking God and holding off on any fundraising, He has shown me that it is His calling on my life to do this Race. (whether it is the full 11 months or not) I had this moment of clarity, as I was laying on my couch (a very holy location :)) I was kind of questioning whether I wanted to do the Race, it seemed like a struggle to get the money, I was going to miss family and friends, and I was going to be dirty and uncomfortable for 11 months after all. And I felt a God tug on my heart, that You Must go, and that this was not all my idea. And not that God needs me to go, He is not limited by people and resources, but that He wants to use ME on this Race. And thank you Jesus that you gave me that confirmation because this month thus far has already been a trial. And if I was not sure of what I am suppose to do, then I would be questioning whether I should go or not.
FEBRUARY!
Since this is my birthday month, I always think that February will be amazing! Well so far it has been a little bit of a challenge.
Like I said I am so happy that God had given me confirmation last month that this is God’s Race! Most know that I am an Early Childhood Education major and I am doing my internship right now. Well I heard “unofficially” that there could be an open position at the school I am student teaching at. This school is one of my DREAM schools, and my mentor teach thinks that I would be a great teacher and fit right into the school. UMM PROBLEM! I am leaving and she knows this and supports my trip, but thinks I should at least apply.
I honestly considered it for a couple of days, I mean how often do opportunities like this arise? Not often. So I have been praying about it and feel that I should not worry about this open position. God is not so small that He can’t open up a position for me when I get back. And I specifically felt when I registered that the July Route was the one to pick for me because I might be tempted by a job opening if I did the September routes. But keep praying for me about this, that I have continued clarity and will not be swayed by the thought of financial security and comfort!
Lastly, I need prayer for my father. This week he fell off a 10’ ladder onto a concrete garage floor. He broke several ribs and possibly his tailbone, we would know more but he is to STUBBORN to go to the doctor because he has broken ribs so many times. Honestly I wouldn’t be to concerned but my father, but he is in his mid 60s and we all know recovery is harder the older we get. And also I am concerned because he sounds SO depressed every time I speak to him. He is not saved, and maybe God is bringing him to his knees so he will see and seek Jesus, but it is still scary for me. So please be praying!!!
I told you it was going to be a long post!! But you made it to the end. I will try to update more often! Be blessed!!
