Every day for the past few weeks now I have thought about how badly I need to write a blog. I want to say it’s hard to find the time, but honestly it’s just hard to know what to say. I am not lacking in stories or memories, God has provided many of those, but this trip is about so much more than that. The World Race is an adventure, but it’s not about the places we go or even the things we do. Instead the adventure lies in the journey God takes each of us on. If we were to have a conversation about that adventure and you were to ask me questions about where God is taking me and what I am learning, I would have so much to say. But sitting here trying to give glimpses of my life and the journey I am on seems impossible. I have sat down many times ready to write and end up with an empty page. There have been other times when I have written entire blogs, but when I am ready to post I’m not entirely sure what I was trying to say. I want to write with a purpose. So this time I spent a lot of time asking the Lord for help, and I received the word “faithful”.
These past few weeks in Thailand have been much different than expected. Things have been a lot more challenging than I ever thought, but also so much more rewarding. Our ministry site is the perfect example. My team is spending our three months in Thailand volunteering at an English school. When we first arrived I didn’t know what to think. I was so excited to be there and ready for whatever God had planned, but this ministry was different than Guatemala. The school we are working at is run as a business and owned by a Christian family. That brought me a lot of challenges as I had to learn my role and really ask God what he wanted me to learn from our placement. But I have learned way more in these past few weeks at ministry than I have the last three months. God is showing me just how faithful He is to answering our prayers. I have asked for years to be brought to a place of abandonment. I wanted to really know what it was like to live uncomfortably for the Lord and I can tell you now that I am uncomfortable every single day. Sometimes I am scared to go to sleep because I don’t know what the next day will bring. But every single morning I wake up and ask the Lord for His strength, His endurance, and His joy. And every night I go to sleep in awe of our God’s faithfulness and I am reminded that He really does care about the little things.
I have also spent lots of time in prayer about my team and where I belong. I love the community, but I have had to learn how to involve people and how to allow my team to be a part of my individual journey. It’s been hard going to a group of people for support who are just learning my story. It’s been hard to go to people for support who I didn’t immediately click with, and it’s been hard to trust people who were so abruptly placed in my life. I have been in prayer for our team and our time in Thailand before we even left when I found out we would be living alone. I wasn’t really sure what it would look like or how God would answer my prayers, but I have seen God’s faithfulness in the way I love them. I used to see to differences in everyone on our team as something that separated all of us. Now, as I have been able to spend more time with my team mates individually I totally believe that everyone’s uniqueness is what makes each of them special and I am falling more in love with them and the things they can show me.
This gets me excited. I have no idea what each day will bring. I have no idea what I am going to do after the race. I don’t really have any solid plan for my future. But God is faithful and I trust that He has it all under control. He has big plans for my life and He has big plans for me now. I am ready to dive right in and not fear the Lord, trust that He is faithful and ask big prayers.
