I have said multiple times before that this trip scares me. Spending nine months away from home is a scary thing. There is too many things unknown and too many things that are going to be out of my control. And what terrifies me the most is that I have no idea how I can prepare myself.
All these are good concerns though. For the first time, I can’t take the lead, and I so clearly have the opportunity to give God control, but lately I have been struggling to know what that looks like especially when it comes to fundraising.
To go on this trip I need to fund raise $12 488. That is a big, scary number. So big that I know I can’t do it on my own. I know that this is such a great opportunity to trust God but I don’t know how. I hear everywhere that God will provide but how do I handle this in a way that glorifies God? There is a thin line between doing nothing and trusting God to provide the funds, and me taking things on myself which can easily turn into me taking control of the whole situation. Both of those scare me and I have been struggling to find the middle. Thankfully, our God does provide. He continually shows His greatness and has shown to be present through out this entire process.
Here is what happened:
To fund raise for this trip I have decided to sell coffee, and I have done some door to door sales. When I first started I was very optimistic, and happy to get started. Seeing that some other team mates had already began their fundraising, I was excited to finally get money to go into my account. But after I went to the first few houses and I didn’t get any responses things weren’t looking so good. It was ok though because I didn’t want anyone to feel pressure to donate, and apparently they hadn’t. But then as I went to a few more houses and I still wasn’t getting a response I began to feel a little discouraged. Not only was I not getting money, but I thought I was going to have to pay for the unsold coffee. I had unknowingly placed expectations on how God would provide and I was overwhelmed because I didn’t truly give this up to Him.
But then God gave me another opportunity. I started to pray between each house for Him to take control, mainly because I didn’t want to break down in tears when the next person politely said no. I had no control and I realized this, and that is when things began to turn around. I was comforted and began to accept that this was not going to turn out how I had hoped. And then house after house people began to support me. Not only was I beginning to collect donations but I was able to have some awesome conversations about this opportunity God has given me. In an hour and a half I sold a whole box and got $100 for my trip!
God does provide. Not in the ways we might expect but he is faithful and worthy of our trust. I am still learning how to give up my control but I know that if I give God my trust moment by moment He will take control and reveal Himself.
Ps. If you wanted to donate and support me on this trip you can click on the link under my profile picture “support me and donate”.
Donations are always appreciated
