Hello out there!
As I’m writing this, I am sitting in my room waiting on the rest of the squad to get here so we can leave TOMORROW to head to THAILAND. If you’ve been following my journey you’ll know that this means I am about to begin my 10th month on the World Race. The last 9 months have been a super odd phenomenon of slow days and really fast months. Time is so weird on the Race.
My team and I have been in Malaysia this month! I didn’t really know anything about Malaysia before coming here. I have been to Indonesia and I figured it would be similar to there. It has been, but it’s also kind of a whole new magical little world. We have been on the island of Penang, which is amazing. Seriously! If you’re thinking about going on vacation somewhere, you need to come here. It’s so beautiful and there is so much to do. Oh, and the food here is AMAZING. Without a doubt some of the best food I’ve had on the Race.
I’m just gonna be really real right now. This has honestly been a weird month for me. Our ministry wasn’t normal and we were kind of all over the place. Which is fine. But I am super task oriented and sometimes struggle with legalism. I struggle with thinking that if I didn’t do a certain amount of ‘things’ or talk to a certain amount of people, then I did nothing for the Kingdom. I know this isn’t truth but sometimes it’s hard to get that through my thick skull. We did a few different things this month but didn’t really get to invest in a certain place all month because we moved around so much. Towards the end of the month, the Lord began to show me that He was using us so much this month to be an encouragement to the full time volunteers here and we were a breath of fresh air for them.
Coming into this month, I found myself just completely worn out. I was physically and emotionally exhausted from the past 8 months. I found myself getting more excited for what’s to come when I get home and…living in community 24/7 and moving around all the time can be really hard and exhausting. I honestly didn’t feel like I had anything left in me to give away. I was begging the Lord for energy and a renewed spirit for my last leg of the Race. I found myself really feeling like there was a wall up between me and the Lord. You know when you pray and spend time with the Lord and you just feel nothing and hear nothing? Well that was me. I noticed myself not always making my time with the Lord my number 1 priority each day. Over the first week of this month, and many frustrating talks between me and the Lord, He began to reveal to me that intimacy with Him is an absolute choice. It’s like intimacy in a relationship with someone. You’re not going to have any kind of deep relationship with someone if you’re not putting time and effort into that person. The Lord is always waiting on us to run to Him. Once I started making him my source and asking Him for the energy, He began to fill me up again.
Now, don’t hear what I’m not saying. We can’t do anything to earn the love of the Lord. That was done for us on the Cross. Jesus took care of all of that. But sometimes it is a choice to have intimacy with the Lord. Sometimes we really do just have dry seasons with the Lord. Sometimes He intentionally has us walk through dry seasons. But also sometimes, we can’t just sit there and hope the Lord will stir in us and us not do anything. Most of the time we must make the decision to SEEK the Lord and WALK in His goodness and righteousness. That’s when we feel intimacy with Him. That’s when He lights us up inside and guides us. That’s when He fills us up. He’s the Good Shepherd, He’s just waiting on His sheep to look for Him and follow Him.
In no way am I trying to preach to anyone or tell people what to do. Obviously that’s between you and the Lord. I just wanted to share a little bit of my heart and what’s been going on with me this month.
God is good. He is faithful. I feel like my energy has been renewed/recharged and I feel excited for the next two months. I can’t wait to see what He does in and through me!
Also. Exactly 2 months from today, my feet will step on American soil. That seems completely unreal. I can’t wait to see my family and friends. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into some Chick-fil-a and drink a delicious sweet tea…and Dr. Pepper….and eat my weight in Mexican food….OK OK OK I’m getting carried away and I have to stop.
Goodbye everyone! Thanks for stopping by.
