June 10, 2010
Phuket, Thailand
And it is …. (continued from previous blog, I lost it)
After my breakdown at the first bar last night, I took a break – letting the sound of the ocean waves, the taste of ice cream, and the prayers of my team mates sooth my troubled soul. We walked back to the van to head home and as we did, I felt like we needed to say “Hi” to the girls at another bar we had been going to. We quickly said our hellos, gave hugs, and invited them to the center today. They said to call and they would try. And we left.
So today we called and they said they would come. The girls meet at the Starbucks (one of 5 in a mile radius, it’s a tourist location) and wait to be picked up. Usually, Mark (the founder) picks them up in his large pick up with extra seating in the bed of the truck. Today, it was an employee of the center. She drove her SUV. We rode in style, the first time I have had to wear my seat belt in 10 months, and stopped at our first location to pick up some of the other girls. Jane, the employee, is making a lot of calls to the girls to arrange their pick up spot. And so after a few, she leans over and tells me to wave my hand out of the car at the girl approaching. The girl was carrying grocery bags, followed by 3 other girls that were carrying laundry baskets and luggage. I looked at Marissa trying to see if she knew what was going on and she didn’t. So, typical to life when you don’t understand the language and trust Jesus, we shrug our shoulders and welcome them into the car. We pile in the back of the car with the newly loaded stuff. Jane shuts us in and tells us, they are moving in to the center today. Again, Marissa and I look at each other to see if we understood her. That means these women left the industry and are trying to make something of themselves here at the center, learning English and trades. Tears fill our eyes, and it isn’t from the hangers poking in our backs.
We continue to pick up Chana and Wan, the girls from the Night Relax Bar where we have been going. And they joined us…. in the back. We arrived at the center and had lunch and then English class. I love any learning environments but this one was especially special to me because I saw them in such a different light. Sure, it wasn’t the colored spot lights of the bar, but it was the light of the more they were called to be. Chana took out here glasses, put them on and owned that lesson. They were normal women doing normal things. And it was beautiful. I knew in the back of my mind that it would only be a few more hours before they would have to be at the bar again tonight. But I didn’t care. I looked at them with pride, my friends learning. And I think it was at that moment that I realized the magnitude of what God did.
I showed up the first night to the bar and really humiliated myself with a game they have to break the ice with customers. Along with Connect Four, Jenga, and Jackpot there is a game that you hit a nail into a piece of wood with a hammer. Not a big deal, except it isn’t a normal hammer and I was terrible at it. The great part about it is if you lose, which I clearly did, you have to dance on the pole. My face turned red when I found out my fate and I grabbed the hammer and beat the nail into submission. I nervously laughed and tried not to feel defeated by a game! I continued to talk to Chana and it was good. I learned some things about her. But it wasn’t one of those conversations where I left thinking, that was amazing. I still went back the next night but she wasn’t there. And so, last night was only the second time I had talked to her.
That was enough. It doesn’t require anything else than that. You just show up and God does the rest. It wasn’t an earth-shattering conversation where I brilliantly shared the gospel and the whole bar was saved. It was awkward and even uncomfortable at times. But it doesn’t matter. I just made myself available and God did the rest. They came and even want to come back next Tuesday. As I watched them practicing their English, I realized how little I played into them being there. I was there. And that was enough. And my presence allowed God to work, that is it. No pressure, He works. And He even works through what we think is messy and uncomfortable, like the 10 minute ride squished in the back of the truck. We tried to apologize for the not so pleasant ride, but it isn’t really necessary. He is brilliant and doesn’t need us but wants us to join HIm in His work. And as we do, as we just show up, He shows off.
And as I think about what life will be like in a couple of weeks on American soil, I am reminded of this. Life is about just showing up. God is working everywhere and He invites us to join Him. No matter what I do next, He will work through me. I just have to be present and intentional. At the grocery store, allow my presence to be the catalyst to show the bagger he or she is loved. At the gas station, actually go in and have a conversation with the store clerk. It is easy to look for big moments or big trips to do “mission” work. But life is a mission field. Missions isn’t about going to the remotest part of Africa or even the World Race, it is about living on purpose. And just showing up. God will do the rest. He is so much bigger than I give Him credit for. I saw a glimpse of that today with Chana and Wan, who I had almost written off because it didn’t match my idea of a great visit. He doesn’t operate like that. He doesn’t have to. He is big and loving and perfectly able. We just show up, He shows off!
