Daughter Diaries
Entry # 9
June 4, 2010
Phuket, Thailand
There is a mural in the room where we are staying that displays a tree with the fruits of the spirit. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Gentleness. Fairhfulness. Self Control. The mural is right above my bed. As I lay in bed, I look at the fruits and wonder the number of fruits I actually display in my life. In Galatians, the opposite is described as the deeds of the flesh. The scripture says that these are evident. Immorality. Impurity. Sensuality. Idolatry. Sorcery. Enmities. Strife. Jealousy. Outbursts of anger. Disputes. Dissensions. Factions. Envying. Drunkenness. Carousing. If I were to take a survey of my daily life, I am afraid that the deeds of the flesh are actually more evident. There are moments that the fruits of the spirit are fragrant in my life. But as I stare at the mural, I long for seasons and not just moments when the fruit of the spirit is evident in my life.
As I walked down the main street last night, there were things that I saw that I couldn’t believe, things I saw that I wish I hadn’t, and things that made me sad. The deeds of the flesh are evident. They were very evident last night. Today we went back to pray over the places and the women we met. In the light, I almost couldn’t recognize it. But there was a sense of emptiness that was almost overwhelming today. The light exposed it for what it was, an empty bar with no meaning and no real fruit. A heaviness loomed over the bars that seemed to almost dread the inevitable, another night of debauchery.
There was one strip we prayed over today that had a large temple at the end of it. I began to wonder what Buddha or the Hindu god it represented felt about the deeds of the flesh that were happening right before “it’s” eyes. And I began to feel sad that people believed that by giving this “god” a food offering before and/ or during their acts of indiscretion that it would make it okay. Maybe it makes their conscious okay. But whatever the reason, I realized that I was thinking in a separation, an us vs. them mentality. Yes, they believe a very different thing than I do. They believe in a god that can’t do anything to free them from the bondage they experience every night. But these people are real people in need of real grace. I get to experience these people and these bars on the other side of grace. But that has nothing to do with me and how great I am. It has everything to do with how great He is. It isn’t because I am worthy. It is because He is.
And so, I prayed for His grace to flood that place. These women are His daughters who have chosen a way that doesn’t lead to life. These men, who perpetuate the plight of these women, are His sons who are searching for intimacy but settling for a false form of it. We prayed for love to fill that place. The kind of love that changes you. It changed me. And because of that, it doesn’t make me better. I can still operate out of the flesh. But Galatians 5:25 says that if “we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” There are many white people here. If I am going to be different and not just because of my skin color, if I am going to make a real and lasting difference it will be because of the fruits of the spirit. It will be because I am living and walking by the spirit. I am realizing that I can’t do this on my own. And not just this ministry, life. There are a lot of white people in America, my skin doesn’t set me apart. The only thing that will is walking by the Spirit, displaying peace, faithfulness, gentleness, patience, joy, self control and love. Great love.
